jot

Comments

Democrats Demand Abolition of Police--And Capitalism

jot

I wish!

Awesome Superheroes That Don't Require a Stove

jot

Um... the Human Torch. Cyclops. ...Sunfire? There was an X-Man named Sunfire, right?

Can you call a singular member of the X-Men an X-Man?

Help me out here.

Hundreds Report Abnormal Menstruation After Being Caught Red-Handed

jot

...So, uh, is this a top 10 of all time headline for me? I think maybe.

Batman: Caped Crusader Series Will Return Batman to His Wife a Flower

jot

A DC Comics adaptation of Ovid's Metamorphoses could be kinda neat.

Cities in Mexico Are Tearing Each Other

jot

Mexico could stand to learn a thing or two from America.

https://headlinesmasher.com/642509

WWE Wrestling Updates LIVE – 85mph Winds and Rain to Hit Monday

jot

Stand back! There's a hurricane coming through!

SpaceX Launches Astronauts to Earth

jot

Pffffhahahahaha.

Horrified by the Bell Star Dustin Diamond Dead at 82

jot

Reminds me of best headline that I didn't get to save because the site crashed:

"Blown by the Bell" Cast Reunites After 30 Years in Prison

Can a Liquid Be an Antiracist

jot

Yes, milkshakes.

Puppy Born With 6 Guns, Body Armor Arrested in Assault Stemming From Altercation Between Dogs

jot

When I got this one, I read it as also implying the guns & body armor puppy was born as a result of the altercation, though now I see it doesn't.

jot

...what

Disconcerted: A Music Room in Your Uterus!

Magic Wand Is an Excellent Way to Funeral

jot

Probably a better idea to go with something a bit more quiet and discreet, though.

An Apple a Day Can Increase Risk of Disease, Study Finds

jot

Oh, this is the best one I've seen in a while.

Celebs Whose Ages Are Drastically Different Now 20 Years Later

jot

May as well stop for today, I'm not gonna get anything that tops this.

Pro-Life Icon Dies at 87

jot

Hypocrite.

We Microwaved a Turkey and It Can Extract Email Addresses and Passwords From Locked iPhones

jot

That's nothing. Once I microwaved a banana and uncovered the secret to time travel.

Police: Infant Dies After Police Standoff

jot

Holy shit.

Gobsmacked Waitress, 21, Left "shaking" After Kind-Hearted Stranger Leaves Her a C**t

jot

They only left her a cent? That's not very kind-hearted at all!

Baby Fox Cubs Happy to See His Junk Anyway

Let This Wily Fox Keep His Zipper Up

Top 20 Sexy Victims of "Uterus Collector"

jot

😬😬😬

I've Just Seen a Face, I Can't Forget the Billionaires, Guillotine the Corporations

jot

♪ Die, die, die, die-die-die. ♫

Animal Trainer Gets Mauled by a Line of Yeast

jot

Unfortunately learned too late that most of the techniques you use with animals don't really work with fungi.

More PUMPING: Fed Injects $104 Billion Into Markets Face

jot

Maybe, but I doubt many newspapers would print that money shot.

Uber Disposes of Tens of Thousands of Replies

jot

Dammit, I read "reptiles." That clearly does not say reptiles.

Peter Sutcliffe Cause of Death: How Did the Beatle Die?

jot

Brain aneurysm, right? ..waaait a minute...

Frank! Bring Me the Goods

jot

A pork roll, egg & cheese, if you please, with some gravy fries.

Sicko Invented Twin as Scapegoat After Trying to Secretly Fart

jot

This might be one of my all-time favorites.

How Virus Will Change the Game in First Speech as Biden's Running Mate

jot

ahahahahahahahahahahaha

This Little Baby Boat May Be the Next Great Renewable?

jot

I don't believe it!

"Disturbing" Dream Leads to Many Thousands of Converts

jot

This is a rather evocative one.

Top Comments Dropping Like an Alien Penis

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Buried in gelatin, beneath the sands of Venus.

I Pooped in My Mouth

Ren & Stimpy Revival Coming to Netflix Is Sexualizing Young Girls

jot

This is horrible and perfect.

Squirrels Stash 50 Pounds of Cocaine, Heroin

jot

That's frikkin' c-c-cool!

Here's How Ginger Can Help Improve Your Posture

Cook Out's Watermelon Milkshake Gets Me Through the Coronavirus Crisis

jot

It would if I lived in NC, anyway.

Wikipedia Editors Have Been Documented in Ancient Chinese Medicine

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[citation needed]

If Only There Were Ass Dentists!

jot

Catullus 97