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Comments

Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi?

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I'm seeing double here! Four Pelosis!

When Girls Sleep With the Bulls

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If ancient Greece had Buzzfeed...

Multi-Millionaire Crushed to Death at Dallas Strip Club

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He got a lapdance from the woman in the previous headline.

Woman May Lose Nipple After Botched Lasik

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"Hello? My eyes are UP HERE!"

Adam Lanza's Writings Reveal He Was "Helping"

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Just thought I should clarify since this is a particularly awful headline: I have absolutely no sympathy for Adam Lanza, and Sandy Hook truthers are the scum of the earth.

Rudolph the Red Carpet

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It would also explain why some really good headlines I saved in the past seemed to mysteriously vanish. I only noticed this time because I went to leave a comment.

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Okay, that's interesting—this was a headline that was generated for me that apparently had already been saved by another user two years ago. I had no idea there was a system in place to handle duplicate headlines.

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Had a... shiny armpit?

Pokemon: Let's Go Inside Futuristic Restaurant, Where Robot Has Replaced Bartender

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The robot is also the gym leader.

Why Spider-Man Is Actually a Serial Child Predator

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♫ Spider-Man, Spider-Man, he's got candy in his van ♫

How Do I Raise a Special-Needs Child Bride

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I think of all the headlines I've ever generated, this might be the most disturbing.

Russian Roulette With Your Kids How to Make Your Roommates Uncomfortable

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That... uh, that'd be pretty uncomfortable, alright.

Steven Tyler Once Adopted a German Shepherd Named Major E.Coli

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This is one of my all-time favorites.

Monologue: I'm the Most Frequently Overlooked Super NES Classics

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Specifically, I'm 50% Fire Striker, 40% Equinox, and 10% Cacoma Knight in Bizyland.

Heart Surgeon Given Near-Fatal Dose of Ass

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Exactly how much ass constitutes a fatal dose? And is it possible to build up a tolerance?

Donald Trump Uses the Buddy System in Sicily

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They call it "cosa nostra" there, I think.

Kim Kardashian's Butt Sharks or People?

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There's no connection between "butt" and "sharks" in these headlines. Headline Smasher just came up with Butt Sharks all on its own, I guess.

My Name Is Sprouted

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Short for Sproutheodore.

Joke of the Beast / Piece of Sh*t

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They really should've made Piece of Sh*t the A-Side instead of Joke of the Beast.

Hillary Drops Another Hint She's Planning to Stage a Mass Murderer

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I seriously didn't realize it said murderer and not murder until just now.

Hardy Fox, Composer for America's Soul

FALSE Facts About French Bulldogs

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In France, French Bullogs are known as "chiens perdus."

Hit & Run Donkey

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Did anyone get the number of that donkey cart?

In France, a Giant Testicle

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En Angleterre, un ovaire géant.

Dog Attacks, Drags 11-Year-Old Boy Playing DQ11

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...on the 11th hour of the 11th day, of the 11th month.

In Connecticut, Virginia and Colorado Man Finds Biological Parents Using Ancestry Kit

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I can't explain it, but I have a slight suspicion that the kit may not be 100% accurate.

If a Prince Murders a Journalist, That's Not a Socialist Success

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But if a journalist murders a prince...

Ted Cruz on My Bed

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Been a while since I got one of these that made me physically recoil.

Rapper 6ix9ine Sentenced to 10 Years Ago

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Time travel as punishment would be an interesting basis for a dystopian sci-fi story that probably already exists somewhere.

Strategies: Now, the Markets Can Worry About Climbing Gear

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Yeah, it's ridiculous. Was going to post an issue about it, but I can't sign up for github on work internet.

China's Video Game Themes Played on Beer Bottles

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Dude, it is incredibly obvious you are using multiple accounts to vote on your own stuff. Just LOL that someone would cheat at Headline Smasher.

My Kind of Black Voters in Georgia Governor's Race Could Be Traded

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- Brian Kemp

Chewbacca Reincarnated as a Lawnmower?

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GRREAAAAAAAWWWWRGH!

Monica Lewinsky Was Not the Only Reasonable Solution....for Wile E Coyote

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Thank you, Headline Smasher, for making my mind go places it normally wouldn't and probably shouldn't go.

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It's really the roadrunner in an ACME wig and blue dress, but he either can't tell the difference or doesn't care.

Giant Lizard in Florida Senate Race?

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Yes, we know. Its name is Rick Scott.

Charlize Theron Transforms Into a GIRLS PANTS

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This is very DeviantArt.

Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom , Noooooooooooooooo

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Pac-Man?

Pumpkin-Pecan Bundt Cake With Butterscotch Glaze

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...did this seriously just combine two recipes into one that legitimately sounds better than either?

McDonald's Reveals New Name: QUIBI

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I could go for an Egg Quibmuffin right now.