Headline Smasher

That's nothing. Once I microwaved a banana and uncovered the secret to time travel.

Holy shit.

They only left her a cent? That's not very kind-hearted at all!

🤔 https://headlinesmasher.com/610207

🤔 https://headlinesmasher.com/608905

😬😬😬

♪ Die, die, die, die-die-die. ♫

Unfortunately learned too late that most of the techniques you use with animals don't really work with fungi.

Maybe, but I doubt many newspapers would print that money shot.

Dammit, I read "reptiles." That clearly does not say reptiles.

Brain aneurysm, right? ..waaait a minute...

A pork roll, egg & cheese, if you please, with some gravy fries.

This might be one of my all-time favorites.

ahahahahahahahahahahaha

I don't believe it!

This is a rather evocative one.

Buried in gelatin, beneath the sands of Venus.

https://headlinesmasher.com/578768

This is horrible and perfect.

That's frikkin' c-c-cool!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gingering

It would if I lived in NC, anyway.

[citation needed]

Catullus 97

X

This is literally just an infowars headline, lol

This is a genuinely good tongue-twister.

Also hardcore: drinking water with one hand.

I would have assumed a legend or planeswalker.

This was funnier when I thought it said R2D2.

a culinary puzzle

It's victory wine.

This made me, like, reflexively scrape my tongue against my teeth. Eurgh.

Legit one of my favorite movies. Highly recommended to Twilight Zone and Black Mirror fans.

This year's New Kings of Sapphic Erotica contest got a little out of hand.

We're doomed.

I kinda feel like I should apologize for saving this one.

an Academy Award-nominated documentary, no doubt

jesus christ

It's really not fair to the artist to expect them to just show up at a moment's notice to blast ass into a mic. You need time to prepare.