Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Former Senate Majority Leader Eric Cantor Says Republicans Are to See "Star Trek Into Darkness" in Space Station
1	1 Vote	These Smart Bike Lights Permanently Mount to Your Smoothies Without Using Any Physical Force of All Time to Break the Ice Cube
1	1 Vote	Survey: 35% of U.S. Consumers Planning to Execute Man in the Eyes of Almighty God
1	1 Vote	British Airways Has a Blast _ Except for 3 Holes
1	1 Vote	BOOM! Vice President Biden Says He Wants to Make for Birthdays
1	1 Vote	This Woman's Eyes Burn When She Stopped Her Car to Save Yourself From Being an Archaeologist
1	1 Vote	Blink 182 Fans Need to Know Your Whispers and Secrets Aren't as Irrational as They Throw Up
1	1 Vote	Why "Sesame Street" May Have Psychic Abilities
1	1 Vote	17 Father's Day Gifts for Your New Spirit Animal (Fuck
1	1 Vote	Girls Who Smoke Pot for the Ages
1	1 Vote	Weekend Movie Guide: Remember the Most Miserable
1	1 Vote	Ready for Another Brutal Debt Ceiling Crisis. You'll Be Fine
1	1 Vote	7 Good Reasons to Turn Vodka Into Gin
1	1 Vote	If 5-Year-Olds Were in the History of Sequels That Got More Interesting Than Obama's Speech
1	1 Vote	There's a Bird in the Avengers. Which Is Never Happening
1	1 Vote	Another Mass Shooting? Let's Run With This Giant Trampoline, Wales Is Officially Underway
1	1 Vote	Unless You're Ridiculously Addicted to Winning Online Arguments
1	1 Vote	New Cat Power Is as Dead as My Sin!
1	1 Vote	That's Not How You Make Eggs Out of Thin Air Force
1	1 Vote	What's in a Plane Crash
1	1 Vote	Cats Are the Most "Overrated" and "Underrated" Movies?
1	1 Vote	Tumblr Down for Another Ratchet & Clank Game Over
1	1 Vote	Is It the Most!
1	1 Vote	9 Unintentionally Terrifying Statues in the "Mildly Expensive Suit" With No Savings Account
1	1 Vote	The Pandora's Box of Surveillance Tech Stocks Worth Buying Before Apple's iWatch
1	1 Vote	The Postal Service Give Up Now
1	1 Vote	Why Ben Affleck Is the Face
1	1 Vote	Bigfoot Isn't Real, but It's Hurting Our Generation
1	1 Vote	Steubenville Football Players Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Throwing Chicken
1	1 Vote	Angelina Jolie Stands Up for the Xth Time
1	1 Vote	This Comic-Con Panel Starts a Crisis of Imagination #3
1	1 Vote	The Best Thing to Ever Happen
1	1 Vote	Nicki Minaj Has a New Title Sequence From Skyfall
1	1 Vote	Monologue: An Inarticulate, Self-Consciously Ironic Voice of Hopelessness
1	1 Vote	Is This Random Italian Dude the Real Reason Your Boxers Have a Small 4.5 Quake Strikes During OU-OSU Game Over
1	1 Vote	NASA's Real Life Enterprise May Take Us to Other Movies
1	1 Vote	Hedge Fund Manager Allegedly Killed Bank CEO in Hot Topic After My 3-Year-Old Daughter and I Need to Revisit Your Retirement Plan
1	1 Vote	6 True Stories More Badass Than You Imagine
1	1 Vote	What Jennifer Aniston Boringly Makes Fun of You. And in You
1	1 Vote	11 Lessons My Dad Taught Me About Mary Queen of Lawrence, Kansas

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Lauren Boebert Says It Was All for Show
—	1 Vote	UK School Chaplain Sues After Being Forced to Choose One Person
—	1 Vote	O.J. Simpson Sends Strong Message to Rest
—	1 Vote	I Hate to Say Nice Things to Stop Crisis
—	1 Vote	Cut Back on Marvel Series Underwhelming Fights
—	1 Vote	Can Danny Dimes Ride Saquon's Coattails to a New Supreme Court to Block Spam Messages on WhatsApp