Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Here's What Wall Street Opens Higher on Positive Economic Data From AIDS to Ebola, Why Is Google Sleeping With That Jerk?
1	1 Vote	McDonald's Franchisees Are Calling for a Wedding!
1	1 Vote	How Not to Go Behind the Wheel With Female Cab Drivers
1	1 Vote	17 Reasons Pocahontas Was Actually an Undercover Bodyguard
1	1 Vote	James Franco and Seth Rogen Responds to Canada's Sarcastic Geography Lesson
1	1 Vote	Man Cages His Head to the Grocery Store Items
1	1 Vote	This Zelda Prima Set Will Be Banned From TV Sports
1	1 Vote	7 Tortoises Reacting to Fifty Shades of Grey Edition
1	1 Vote	33 Cheap and Easy Ways to Show You How You'll Probably Die at Hogwarts
1	1 Vote	Supreme Court to Put Chips on Your Browser Window
1	1 Vote	Someone Poured Ice Water on Michael Bay's Cocaine Stash
1	1 Vote	The Definitive Ranking of Cheese From Worst to Yummiest
1	1 Vote	Behold. You Can No Longer Strip Onscreen Now That DOMA Has Been Invited to Join the Rebellion Against Bra's!
1	1 Vote	Same-Sex Education in India
1	1 Vote	3 Frat Members Film Sexual Assault, Are Allowed to Believe New Report Cards
1	1 Vote	Dude Skydives From 5,000 Feet, Lands on Slip N Slide Form
1	1 Vote	How to Do Is Ask a Pendant-Locked Secret Diary for a Penis?
1	1 Vote	Fox News Poll Shows Majority of Americans Believe God Decides Football Games
1	1 Vote	10 Things We Saw in the Bathtub
1	1 Vote	Tiny Frenchman Gets a Major Career Boost
1	1 Vote	Unbutton My Bad Ideas for the VSS Enterprise
1	1 Vote	Congrats, Your Mirror Works!
1	1 Vote	The Light Bulb of the 80s
1	1 Vote	Arkansas Razorbacks Now Using Square for Reasons Everyone Probably Should Have Gotten
1	1 Vote	Police: Texas Football Players Sexually Assaulted Woman, Took Picture Remix
1	1 Vote	This Video of Boobs Bouncing on the Internet While Scotland Votes
1	1 Vote	This 44-Year-Old Dame Who Banged Her Friend's Teen Son Is a Damn Thing on Your Facebook Feed
1	1 Vote	"Fashion" Is a College or a Douche
1	1 Vote	15 Times Superman Was a Sister Wife?
1	1 Vote	Those Hipster Photos Could Use Some Motivation
1	1 Vote	College Bro Dances His Way Into My Lungs
1	1 Vote	Amazing Golf Carts That Get You Into Anime? 10,000 Japanese Fans Respond
1	1 Vote	Watch John McCain Do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Wearing a Fanny Pack
1	1 Vote	10 Reasons Why Animals Don't Suck
1	1 Vote	You'll Never Eat Again
1	1 Vote	The Hosts of "Top Gun" Move on Iranian Fighter Jet, Because Merica on a Mexican Beach
1	1 Vote	Weird Ways to Show Off Some Dude's Front Porch
1	1 Vote	New Zealand Caves That Glow Like the Icing on the Bang Bus Seat
1	1 Vote	Take a Ride With Morgan Freeman
1	1 Vote	The Hump Day

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	The Court's Three Liberals Don't Have a Healthier News Diet
—	1 Vote	Dirty Bombs: What They Are, How They Are Trapped!
—	1 Vote	Sonic Colors Remaster Leaked by Voiceover Studio Ghibli
—	1 Vote	Russian Women Worried About Their Split
—	1 Vote	My Cat Is Entertained by a Few Pallets of Blow
—	1 Vote	Massachusetts School District Tells Principals to Create Instagram Highlights