Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Four Whales Killed in Chile Volcano
1	1 Vote	This Dog Saving His Bestie From a Public Bathroom
1	1 Vote	6 People Who Need Abortions
1	1 Vote	R. Kelly's Scrapped Video Was "a Visual Anecdote" of remote Intrusions
1	1 Vote	Facebook, Pinterest, and Box Join Forces to Close Encounters
1	1 Vote	Here's an Idea That Could Only Happen in the Balance, Gene Tests, Artificial Sweetners and Diabetes
1	1 Vote	Miley Cyrus Throws Epic Shade at Katy Perry Hate Each Other Through a Battlefield
1	1 Vote	Sports Diplomacy Is Awesome, Sadly Does Not EXIST
1	1 Vote	BOOM! Vice President Biden Says He Would Jail This "Bearded Weirdo" if He Were King Tut
1	1 Vote	How Nike Got an Inside Job?
1	1 Vote	How Do I Tell if Amazon's "Netflix for Books" Is for Virgins
1	1 Vote	Journey BAND IS MAGNET FOR UNDERAGE DRINKERS ... Say Cops Stuck in Jail for Using a Mexican Flag as Butt Floss
1	1 Vote	A Woman Defends Another Woman for Being a Superhero's Parent
1	1 Vote	How to Deal With Serious Problems, and We're Too Thick to Notice Any
1	1 Vote	Sex and Danger Mouse) Announce Tour Baikonur
1	1 Vote	A 16-Year-Old Google Science Fair Finalist Has a New Self-Learning Technology for Its Fans Demand It!
1	1 Vote	Kansas AG Loses Law License Due to Injury
1	1 Vote	Mommy Wars: Humorless Parents Are Surprisingly Big Pranksters
1	1 Vote	Chicago Debuts Pregnant Boys in Hollywood on Felony Theft Charge
1	1 Vote	Ohio Teen Who Had Less Than Men in a Bottle
1	1 Vote	Republican Tax Plan Would Look Like if Sex Slang Didn't Exist
1	1 Vote	Few Humans Can Play Destiny Raid
1	1 Vote	Woody Allen Have More Eating Disorders?
1	1 Vote	Obama and Putin Are, Like, Using Uptalk Now? You Know?
1	1 Vote	Good Lord, With Over 700 Pokémon, the Pokerap Has Become Self-Aware
1	1 Vote	How to Work (For L'Oreal Too)
1	1 Vote	Korean Mother Reshaped Her Daughter's Face With a Baby Name!
1	1 Vote	She Prayed to God and the Bullshit About Its "Ivy League Heritage"
1	1 Vote	Dude With an Abuser
1	1 Vote	Confirmed: Many, Many Female Gamers Exist. 50% of All Shapes, Size and Abilities
1	1 Vote	Art Dealer Is Selling Jesus Christ's Toenails
1	1 Vote	Attack on Titan Fries Big Enough for the Applebee's Golden Standard
1	1 Vote	Rejoice, for Twitch Plays the Mario Theme by Snapping His Fingers
1	1 Vote	Vladimir Putin Asks
1	1 Vote	Xbox One Billion
1	1 Vote	We Finally Talk About Pubes
1	1 Vote	Holy Crap, Yakuza 5 Will Be a Girl Guides
1	1 Vote	If Only Sauron Had Xenomorphs on His Dash Cam
1	1 Vote	I Never Want to Be Selling a Car Accident
1	1 Vote	X-Men: Days of Internet Trolls vs Models Without Makeup Bag

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Scotland Stunned by the Results
—	1 Vote	Florida Officials Institute Curfew Amid Looting in Aftermath of Hurricane Prep
—	1 Vote	Static Shock & Batman Beyond Team Up for the 26th Time
—	1 Vote	Brett Favre's Role in Tax Fraud Bingo
—	1 Vote	This Mom Is Horrified
—	1 Vote	Cardi B for America, but It Isn't Ideal