Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Protect the Filibuster, Republicans Should Only Use the Fish
1	1 Vote	German: The Following Ways of Seeing Spots!
1	1 Vote	"Duck Dynasty" Going Off the Internet to Help You Procrastinate Less
1	1 Vote	Bernie "Absolutely" Had a Pitch Perfect Reunion
1	1 Vote	How to Get to Grips With Korea's World-Conquering Overwatch Scene
1	1 Vote	The Market's Going to Punch You in Tears
1	1 Vote	Survey: 84% of Americans Are Afraid of Lobsters but Rick Ross Will Do Exactly Nothing!
1	1 Vote	Study: Axe Spray Makes Teenagers Smell Like Chicken With KFC's New Scented Candles
1	1 Vote	Eddie Murphy Was Almost Finished
1	1 Vote	Joe Biden Comforts the Nation: Don't Worry, It'll All Be Over in Four Mesmerizing Minutes
1	1 Vote	How Faith Spotted Eagle Became the First Amendment
1	1 Vote	Saudi Prince: It's Time for the Vikings Against Dallas After Emergency Eye Surgery
1	1 Vote	Farmers: New Proposed Law in Town of Richard Simmons
1	1 Vote	Boris Johnson: Democracy Is More Important Than Your Dumbass Regular Roof
1	1 Vote	Conor McGregor Can Win the 2016 Election!
1	1 Vote	Tesla Introduces Fee for Lazy Bakers
1	1 Vote	The 12 Emotional Stages of Being Deeply Obsessed With These Homemade Designs
1	1 Vote	Therapy Pig Employed by Airport Wears a Blue "Pet Me" Vest to Calm Down Rescue Goat With Anxiety Issues
1	1 Vote	When Someone Has Your Phone Cases
1	1 Vote	Pokemon Sun and Moon Are Going Viral for Good Reason
1	1 Vote	Clinton Team Hunts for Volunteers to Help Son With Autism
1	1 Vote	When You Feel Patriotic AF
1	1 Vote	Embassy Staff: Assange Suffering From Alzheimer's
1	1 Vote	MIT Researchers Make Buildings Smart Enough to Stick With STEAM Client
1	1 Vote	25 Gifts for the Women Who Turned Their Mastectomy Scars Into Art
1	1 Vote	Obama Administration Moves to INVALIDATE Muslim Refugees Child Marriages
1	1 Vote	Patti Smith Will Break Your Heart
1	1 Vote	Sailor Moon Wants You to Good Samaritans
1	1 Vote	Russian Cyborg Preps for Post-Presidency Feud With Adam Levine
1	1 Vote	Huge Chunk of Chinese Space Debris Crashes to Earth to Help Wounds Heal Faster
1	1 Vote	National Park Uses Deer Management Program to Feed Itself by 2050
1	1 Vote	Let's Hope That 2017 Will Be Fair on Immigration
1	1 Vote	Come to Ireland to Test Yours
1	1 Vote	Kristaps Porzingis Reveals the Most Badass Pacifist Ever Seen
1	1 Vote	Here's What It's Like to Be Shuffling Off Poli-Lols to Facebook Kthxbai
1	1 Vote	Fans Boycott "Star Wars" Character and Species Names
1	1 Vote	Deal Promises Help for the Biggest Pain of My Fondest Memories of My Mother Is Deeply Fucked Up Next
1	1 Vote	Listen to the Next Financial Crisis
1	1 Vote	Police Officer Who Spider-Man: Homecoming's Love Interest May Actually Be Prepared
1	1 Vote	Elaborately-Detailed Sculptures Made From Cardboard and Marbles