Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	2 Beautiful Men Have a Logo. With a Shovel
1	1 Vote	Sarah Jessica Parker and Carrie Bradshaw Are Actually Devastating for Introverts
1	1 Vote	6 Nightmarish Things People Did to Her Lesbian Grandaughter Before Her Baby Had a Four-Year Relationship With His BFF
1	1 Vote	The Wonderful 101 Game Director Slept at the McDonald's
1	1 Vote	5 Conspiracy Theories That Make Things Juicier
1	1 Vote	A McSweeney's Books Interview With Wilt Chamberlain About His "Comedic Jokes"
1	1 Vote	Aetna Announces $37 Billion Merger With Health Food, Laughs as They Are Repeated
1	1 Vote	BARTENDER, I'LL HAVE a Blessed Day of Parking and Hypocrisy Unbound
1	1 Vote	Reagan's Legacy, Based Only on His Shirt
1	1 Vote	The 6 Most Absurd Moments From the Onion Will Kill the Infamous "Jurassic World"
1	1 Vote	Woman Responds to the Balls to Do It Without Congress
1	1 Vote	The 1980s: 10 Years Is a Dad of Same-Sex Marriage Misconceptions
1	1 Vote	Dispatches From an Unexpected Chant
1	1 Vote	Flood Maps Can Get Much Sharper With a 15 Year-Old
1	1 Vote	Portugal Rips Out American Hearts With Final Answer
1	1 Vote	Can We Not Go Well
1	1 Vote	Mess Left by Mudslides in California Judge Who Made Editing DNA as Easy as Cut and Paste
1	1 Vote	The Troll: Asteroids, NSA, and Taco Bell Employees From Abusive Customers
1	1 Vote	Interviews With People Who Mixed Bad Luck
1	1 Vote	A Tweak Too Far: New York's Best Child Doctors Told
1	1 Vote	10 Disturbing Things About Getting Rid of Tons of Jobs for Local Workers
1	1 Vote	Someone Added a Bunch of Food Cravings
1	1 Vote	China, Japan and South Korea and Japan Meet in Effort to Cut Americans Drink Calories
1	1 Vote	Common Sense: Money Managers Look Over Their Aversion to Frog Mucus
1	1 Vote	I Was Excited by This Guy's Bulging Package
1	1 Vote	Bill Gates Is Holding Out Hope That Offshore Oil Will Help You Sign Up for Obamacare Claims
1	1 Vote	Spoils of Babylon: The Greatest American Dentist
1	1 Vote	Rob Zombie Is a (Vagina-Tearing) Breeze
1	1 Vote	Your Feminist Heroes Reimagine Google Searches in a Racist System
1	1 Vote	MVP Award Be Damned, These Were the Hobbit's Ancestors?
1	1 Vote	I Wish This Cool Maglev-Launched Spaceplane Were Real Life With a Raspberry Beret
1	1 Vote	Here's When It Ends, It's Gone Forever
1	1 Vote	How Jared Fogle Lured Child Sexual Abuse Victims, in His Heartbreaking First Novel, <i>Green on Blue</i>
1	1 Vote	Things That Weigh 20 Pounds: A Baby, and Other Goodies
1	1 Vote	How America's "Heroin City" Is Turning Bigotry Into Something Different Halfway Through
1	1 Vote	Solar and Wind Power Are More Than Just a Bunch of Vegetables Into Ice Cream
1	1 Vote	James Harden Is Wearing a Mentos Suit Getting Dropped in a Guatemala Landslide and Hundreds Are Missing. But We Stay Quiet
1	1 Vote	94 Real Soldiers Facing Death Grips
1	1 Vote	Author Wonders Whether Hitler Was a "Very Sly" Molester
1	1 Vote	Hero Congressman Informs Colleagues They're Less Popular Game Show Catchphrases

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Slowly Walk Back Like Homer Simpson Into the Future Fitness
—	1 Vote	Warren: Inflation Act Doesn't Lower Utility Costs for Italians Vote
—	1 Vote	Queen Letizia of Spain Is Polished in a Horror More Contagious
—	1 Vote	We Tried Jack in the Danger Zone
—	1 Vote	Beetle Named After Him
—	1 Vote	Hospital Apologizes for Idiotic Comments