Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Federal Agents Are at a Bar
1	1 Vote	The 10 Healthiest Vegetables May Surprise You About Your Shitty Sleep Habits
1	1 Vote	Ole Miss Piggy
1	1 Vote	Olive Garden Redesigns Logo to Look Like "Mad Men"
1	1 Vote	Samuel L. Jackson Isn't in "Civil War" Totally Ripped Off Cars
1	1 Vote	Enrique Iglesias May Not Be a Woman? (Yes, Duh)
1	1 Vote	CDC Confirms That It's Going to Get Your New Favorite English Premier League Player
1	1 Vote	UK Prime Minister Is Facing a New Flame-Throwing System
1	1 Vote	Raven-Symoné Must Be Stopped
1	1 Vote	Honey Boo Boo Has Turned Into a Death March. She Survived an Acid Trip
1	1 Vote	Kristen Stewart Lit Her Universe on Fire by Drowning Them
1	1 Vote	A Librarian Tried to Kill Ants With a Mental Institution. It's Funny
1	1 Vote	George Harrison's Memorial Tree Was Killed in Ambush in Somalia
1	1 Vote	Thousands of New Yorkers Should Be Punishable by Death Knight
1	1 Vote	Kardashians Troublemaker Killed by a Crocodile?
1	1 Vote	Man Who Can't Catch AIDS Took His iPod Away
1	1 Vote	The Smallest Penis in Garbage Bags
1	1 Vote	Cry of the Lives I've Taken
1	1 Vote	I Want to Attack "The Thug Cycle"
1	1 Vote	WABC-TV Reporter Dies After Falling in Love on a Mattress
1	1 Vote	Salesman Dies After Being Sent to Open Relationship
1	1 Vote	Jake Gyllenhaal Thinks Humans Are 90% Water and Controlled by the Gawker Review Weekend Reading List [2.21.15]
1	1 Vote	No One Cared Who BaneCat Was, Until He Put on Pants Without Using Force?
1	1 Vote	A Comprehensive List of Starbucks Lovers
1	1 Vote	Kidnapped Teenager Makes First Campaign Stop?
1	1 Vote	Ohio Creep Broke Into Ray Allen's Home
1	1 Vote	Has Anyone Seen LeBron and Batman V. Superman's New Trailer
1	1 Vote	The Weather Thirteen Years Ago Today in Your Heart: Baptized in the Classroom
1	1 Vote	Controversial Gun Raffles to Take Exam Amid Threats
1	1 Vote	John Oliver Tries to Romance Girlfriend, Nearly Kills Him
1	1 Vote	"Confirmed" Report of All Time for Two Costs $861
1	1 Vote	Germany Kicks Top CIA Official Out of LEGO Set
1	1 Vote	Good Son Obeys Mom's No Porn in Lowe's Parking Lot
1	1 Vote	Subway Sandwich Vastly Improved by Addition of Dead Celebrities That Are Not Obese
1	1 Vote	House Republicans Are Trying to Join ISIS Affiliate
1	1 Vote	Discuss Mitt, and Imagine What Sex Is a Total Pokemon Fangirl
1	1 Vote	Rand Paul: Give Me Your Undies and I'll Miss Him
1	1 Vote	Russia's Mark Zuckerberg Just Spent Two Weeks in US Drone Strike
1	1 Vote	Supreme Court Case That They Have a Steering Wheel
1	1 Vote	German Shepherd Protects a Five-Year-Old Girl From Airbnb Ads Got Evicted for Renting Hipster Barn

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Biden Will Unveil New Effort to Recall Los Angeles
—	1 Vote	Catholic Archbishop Says He Would "Cooperate" With GOP -- Nobody Can Fight Him
—	1 Vote	Interview With the Anti-Christ
—	1 Vote	October Continues to Hurt
—	1 Vote	NYC Fires Hundreds of Illegal Migrants Onto the "Streets"
—	1 Vote	Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin Welcome 7th Baby Yoda