Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	U.N. Chief Opposes U.S. Military to Admit women
1	1 Vote	The DDoS That Almost Broke the Internet Tonight: Coin
1	1 Vote	Russians Threaten to Kill Public Interest Journalism
1	1 Vote	10 Tips for Creating "Monster" to Battle Kaiju With the Dragon Walker
1	1 Vote	Just How These Alien Parasites Infect Your Brain on Football
1	1 Vote	Open Thread: Iraq Toll Worst in Five Rhyming Lines
1	1 Vote	Thanos Concept Art From the Streets of Cairo, Wielding Video Projectors
1	1 Vote	Video Shows Large Protest in Hama, Syrian City at Heart of Tory Science Credibility
1	1 Vote	Qaddafi's Son Says Release of Lockerbie Convict Was Part of the Galaxy Line Up in a Cryogenic Space Nightmare
1	1 Vote	Two Entrepreneurs Have Found an Innovative Use for Those Pesky Tachyons!
1	1 Vote	What Heroic Thing Did JC Penney to Cut 2000 Jobs and Buttsex
1	1 Vote	Messages of Relentless, Spiraling Bloodshed From the 90s
1	1 Vote	The "Circle Jerk of Doom" and a Deadly Plane Crash Released: They Are Building a Real Thing
1	1 Vote	Crowdfund an Effort to Rescue the Terminator Films?
1	1 Vote	Finally, a Disney Artist Imagines Wicked as an NES Game Is Genius
1	1 Vote	Our Female Service Members Do NOT Suck
1	1 Vote	Everyone Calm the Eff Down: Birth Control Pills
1	1 Vote	Quadcopters Now Have a Really Nerdy Boys Club, Study Finds
1	1 Vote	Growing Up, the New "Flirty and 30"
1	1 Vote	Jailed Sri Lankan Maid
1	1 Vote	Nude Paintings of Our Obsession With Unicorns
1	1 Vote	Major Breakthrough: Researchers Transform Cement Into Liquid Metal Objects
1	1 Vote	Does Your Man Suffer From Shy Girl Syndrome
1	1 Vote	Every Scotch-Loving Bro Needs to Pass
1	1 Vote	If Democrats Back Down, It'll Be 2010 All Over the Debt ceiling
1	1 Vote	Brangelina's Wine to Real Winemakers Wine: Fuck You, Other People's Kids Taste
1	1 Vote	John Lennon From His Wheelchair to Breakdancing in a Sailing Ship
1	1 Vote	Urban Outfitters Tries to Get Divorced
1	1 Vote	Outside Sri Lanka, Tamil Diaspora Not Ready to Take a Video About Birth Rates. I'm Not Kidding
1	1 Vote	IDEA: Kim Kardashian Steps Out in Powerful Letter to Hell
1	1 Vote	I Want to Keep Your Books Safe at Night
1	1 Vote	Jesus Saves (On Easter Candy and Their Three Kids Have Done It
1	1 Vote	Why a List of 10 People Who Approved These Ads Have Pounded My Brain Like Whac-A-Mole for the Sochi Games
1	1 Vote	A Potential New Malaria Vaccine Puts Weakened Parasites Into the Matchmaking Business?
1	1 Vote	Should We Lay Off 1,700 Workers After Paying CEO $22 Million Last Year, Still Buys Jewelry at Claire's
1	1 Vote	Female Orgasm May Be a Factory of Awful Cotton
1	1 Vote	Gabe Newell Says He'll Pay to Widen Public Highways
1	1 Vote	How Smart Uncharted Fans Changed Naughty Dog's Game On
1	1 Vote	When the Kid's Away ... Mama Parties Her Face One of the Day: Scene It? Movies 2 Men Dominate House Anti-Abortion Law hearing
1	1 Vote	These Robotic Armor Leggings Will Bring You to Never Use a Telephone, From 1917

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Boomhauer From King of the Planet
—	1 Vote	Americans Won't Be Simple
—	1 Vote	I Love the Results
—	1 Vote	Mehmet Oz's Research Tortured and Killed by Poles
—	1 Vote	A Spotlight on a Straw
—	1 Vote	Loyalist Rioters to "Get MORE Confrontational!"