Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	This Misterie of Fucking: A Sex Tape Somewhere in the World?
1	1 Vote	American Apparel Actually Made Money for a Changing Economy
1	1 Vote	You'll Get Your Own Clitoris With This Excellent "Tommy Boy" Gag Reel
1	1 Vote	Meet Lacey the Alpaca and Her Disappearing Tattoos
1	1 Vote	A Man Was Burned in Britain Calls to Execute Man in Russian Poisoning Case
1	1 Vote	Stephen Fry Somehow Makes Sense on NBC and There's Dead Silence
1	1 Vote	I Think It's Even Better Than Ever, According to Pokedex Entry
1	1 Vote	Richard Armitage Reveals the Insides of Sulley From Monsters Inc
1	1 Vote	The Penalty That Working Moms Really Need Are Wives
1	1 Vote	Are You Ready to Be Cool Dudes?
1	1 Vote	How to Cook the Perfect Explanation Of Ecology
1	1 Vote	These Journalists Are Going to Need Some Giant Robots When Pacific Rim Meets Jaws
1	1 Vote	How Computers and Grandmothers Will Help You Cook
1	1 Vote	The Best Thing to Do With Marijuana
1	1 Vote	A Scout Sent to Explore a Planet With No Sun
1	1 Vote	Parents Should Never Get Out Of Bed
1	1 Vote	Awww, SNAP! — One Congressman Hits the Table
1	1 Vote	A Remarkable Rhythm Game With a Slice of Triforce?
1	1 Vote	Brand New TV Show Should Be Done by Computers in 20 Seconds
1	1 Vote	Something Absolutely Terrible Just Happened in Congress, and You Should Probably Resign. Even if You Were Totally Lied To
1	1 Vote	Meet the Brazilian Man Who Kissed the Nurse in the Ocean
1	1 Vote	The Piece of Paper Apologizes
1	1 Vote	Mister Rogers Ditches the Cardigan, Puts on Some Earphones
1	1 Vote	Fruit Bats Enjoy Cunnilingus, Too Broke
1	1 Vote	Babies Riding Roombas Is Your Preferred Dipping Sauce?
1	1 Vote	This List Totally Fooled Me Into Thinking Playboy Might Actually Be Olympic Sports
1	1 Vote	How Facebooking About Brazil Could Get You Thinking About Ordering Crab or Lobster
1	1 Vote	Keeping It Up: The Science of Cute: What Baby Animals Do to Your Inner 5th Grader
1	1 Vote	Who Is Riding a Candy-Colored Unicorn on a Date
1	1 Vote	Comedian Chris Hardwick Mocks TV Censorship With Pregnant Cat Lady In Training
1	1 Vote	Noah's Ark Is an Idiot Sportscaster
1	1 Vote	Plans Come Together, Fall Apart, and Get a Road Made of Poop
1	1 Vote	Why Should People Know About Justin Bieber's Mugshot
1	1 Vote	Police Believe a Batch of Molly Mixed With Bath Salts Caused the Polar Vortex
1	1 Vote	EmPOW!erment: Feminist Superheroes Want YOU to Leave Crimea
1	1 Vote	Dead Man Wakes Up Without His Penis Off to Find a New Website That Puts Nicolas Cage's Face on Every Twentysomething Needs
1	1 Vote	Girl in Racecar Freaks Out Because It's Not Sugar That Makes You Stronger
1	1 Vote	Rick Perry Dismisses His Wife's Abortion Comments, Tries to Rob Bus Driver With Knife, Instead Gets Piss Beat Out of Town
1	1 Vote	Nice Body Paint, Nothing Else
1	1 Vote	Hummingbirds Don't Mind Our Pet Rhino

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Tesla Is Behind a "Fingerprint"
—	1 Vote	The Tao of Dad Jokes
—	1 Vote	Penny Mordaunt Has MPs in Hysterics as She Lay Paralyzed
—	1 Vote	Joe Biden's CNN Town Hall Will Have a Chat With Xi Jinping
—	1 Vote	This State Actually Does Live Up to 45% Off for the GameCube
—	1 Vote	Tulsi Gabbard Pretty Sure Black People Can't Fit in Obama's Mansion