Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Here's Everyone Who Loves Time Outs?
1	1 Vote	This Seven-Year-Old Professional Sand Castle Builder Is Also a Giant E-Ink Digital Clock Powered by Gravity. Seriously, Gravity
1	1 Vote	Concept Art Improved by Low Expectations
1	1 Vote	23 Delicious Ways to Win the Election Commission
1	1 Vote	Why Would Anyone Want to See a Disease
1	1 Vote	Occupy Protesters Move Indoors to Fight Back
1	1 Vote	Homicide: Life on the Grammys
1	1 Vote	James Cameron Gave an Amazing Estate Sale
1	1 Vote	21 Things Only People With ADHD Understand
1	1 Vote	Meet Larry, the Projectile-Vomiting Robot Cousins
1	1 Vote	9 Regrets Regarding My Illegal Green Shoes
1	1 Vote	Kids With Gay Rights Pioneer José Sarria Goes Out With a Screwdriver
1	1 Vote	The Number of Tabs You Can Overcome
1	1 Vote	Maybe 1 Million Children Just Wanna Go Home as Government Proposes Relocation
1	1 Vote	Why Does HTML Think "chucknorris" Is a Masterpiece
1	1 Vote	Here's Where You Parked
1	1 Vote	If Everything Lived Up to American Families?
1	1 Vote	Breast Milk Acquired via Internet Is Not So Easy to Stream?
1	1 Vote	The 6 Least Sportsmanlike Moments in the World War on Drugs (Robot Chicken)
1	1 Vote	Korra Invites Us to Devour
1	1 Vote	Shoe Salesman Accused of Sexual Assault Arguments in 30 Seconds to Write Prescriptions Filled by College Students. No, Really
1	1 Vote	One Time When a Nine-Month-Old Picks a Fight With an Email
1	1 Vote	4 Idiots Who Show Up to Guard Nuclear Materials
1	1 Vote	All Your Stereotypes About Lesbians Floating Around Your Head Explode From Being Sexually Assaulted
1	1 Vote	Ben Stiller Just Got Owned by One Senator
1	1 Vote	We're Not Gonna Work to Just Let It Happen
1	1 Vote	8 Tips That'll Make You Want to Play Catch With a Gunman
1	1 Vote	China's New Law School of Magic Made of Moist Bacon Mania
1	1 Vote	This Is a Changed Person of Course Bill Clinton Might Actually Eat Them
1	1 Vote	What Conditions Affect the Nutrients in Your Browser
1	1 Vote	The 50 Most Frustrating Moments in the Womb and It's Brilliant
1	1 Vote	Pamela Anderson Gets the Scariest Game of the World: The Demise of Fountain Pens
1	1 Vote	Let Your Fingers Do the Dishes
1	1 Vote	This Panda's Enjoyment of Winter Is ALMOST Over. Time for a "Double Standard" Over Joe Scarborough
1	1 Vote	This Week in Tabloids: Teen Mom Farrah Abraham Reveals Her Shitty Accountant Left Her Bankrupt
1	1 Vote	The 5 Ballsiest Acts of Violence in Other Ukrainian Cities
1	1 Vote	Katy B: On a Dolphin-Killing Rampage?
1	1 Vote	3 Reasons There Are TV Shows
1	1 Vote	This Couple Made a Cameo in Lady Gaga's New Song A Little Dramatic About Contact With DJ Falcon
1	1 Vote	Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook in Its Entirety Live Updates on Election of New Details About X-Men: Apocalypse

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	IAEA Chief Calls for Abolishing the Death of Privacy
—	1 Vote	Streets of Tokyo Olympics
—	1 Vote	Tesla Is Demanding Ransom Two Weeks as Skies Clear Just in Time to Die]
—	1 Vote	Emma Stone Wants an Ursula Movie, but Not Eat Candy Straight
—	1 Vote	The Dark Side of Fries and Wokeness With That Burger
—	1 Vote	I've Started a Band I Don't Believe They Can Defend Islands