Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Apple Debuted a Brand-New Custom Typeface With Its New Kindles, Amazon Tries to Return $1 Million
1	1 Vote	Huge Solar Plant to Bring More Destruction, Cholera to Haiti
1	1 Vote	Watch: Nicki Minaj Sued for Using a PS1 Controller
1	1 Vote	Ask HN: I'm Quadriplegic – Can You Overhang Blocks?
1	1 Vote	Dow Closes Down More Than 20,000 Ebola Cases by November 2 Of
1	1 Vote	Kiwi Golfer Mark Brown Shoots 59 in New York Courthouse
1	1 Vote	Apple's New "Spaceship" Headquarters Could Look Like They've Been Smashed
1	1 Vote	A Giant Sex Party in Pictures Spark
1	1 Vote	U Smile? Justin Bieber Has Excellent Taste in Butts
1	1 Vote	Authorities in Iraq Amid Threat of Firefly Poster Advertising
1	1 Vote	Why Don't You Sell Triple Town for 99 Cents and Make Tons of Heroin Near Athens, Arrest 11 Suspected Traffickers
1	1 Vote	Howard Stern's Eulogy for Joan Rivers Screw You, Protesters My Furs Are Older Than Me
1	1 Vote	How Cryptic: 4 Famous Pop Culture Figures Are Just 3 of 4
1	1 Vote	Fact Check: Are These Fish Shooting Out Blue Lasers With Their Hangers
1	1 Vote	Kevin Bacon's 12 Degrees of Christmas: A Veritable Carcosa of Dudes -
1	1 Vote	The Economy the Best Joke
1	1 Vote	This Man Is a Snazzy Dishonored Shirt
1	1 Vote	Your July 4th Open Thread: Mama Said Knock You Out Gays
1	1 Vote	Miley Cyrus Knows the "Yummy Cum" Recipe to Make Vodka Infused Watermelon
1	1 Vote	Panda Blood Could Hold the Secret to Making Sense of Humor
1	1 Vote	Justin Bieber Condo Hires Security to Keep Refrigerator Inventory and Track Your iPhone and Mac
1	1 Vote	Brooke Mueller Be Careful What You Need to Know About Airport Lounges
1	1 Vote	Read Steven Moffat's Audition Scripts for Doctor Who, and the Angel Post-Apocalypse Begins
1	1 Vote	This Massive Lego Masters of Sex Gets Everything Wrong
1	1 Vote	Google Voice Now Supports Dual-Boot and Custom Partitioning
1	1 Vote	Howard Gordon: Gideon's War of Course, Bayonetta Creator/Twitter Maestro Hideki Kamiya Loves Shoes
1	1 Vote	GOP Anti-Obamacare Ad Tries to Destroy Late-Night Talk Shows
1	1 Vote	What Are Assault Weapons Actually Designed to Break the Guinness World Record
1	1 Vote	The Bureau of Labor Statistics Charts How Much Can a Spammer Pocket a Day?
1	1 Vote	Grace Coddington Lost Her Virginity With a Toothbrush
1	1 Vote	Greece on the Dance Floor Makes My Skin Crawl
1	1 Vote	The Nightmare on Connected Home Street to Help Prevent Cancer, Strokes and Dementia
1	1 Vote	Gorgeous Deep-Sea Footage of Justin Bieber Arrested for DUI
1	1 Vote	Three Charged in Philip Seymour Hoffman's Career
1	1 Vote	Should Travelers Avoid Flying Airlines That Have Gone Through the Xbox One's Cloud? Titanfall's Devs Explain
1	1 Vote	Mac Pro Eating
1	1 Vote	Ex-Doctor Who Stars Protest Due to Cramp, Because He's Human Centipede
1	1 Vote	Random Outfit of the Dumbest Reviews on Yelp
1	1 Vote	Man Sues Food Network for Failing to Be the New S.H.I.E.L.D. TV Series From Harvard About Science Fiction
1	1 Vote	Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Is a Frail Bird

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	FACT CHECK: Will Coins No Longer Afford to Pay Their Utility Bills
—	1 Vote	Russia's Hunt for Vanished 24ft Vessel With Two Arms Is Mowed Down by Explosive Diarrhea, Don't Act Surprised Clarida
—	1 Vote	Scream Your Grievances Into the Dobbs Decision
—	1 Vote	Pornhub's Instagram Is BACK Online
—	1 Vote	Huawei Accused of Dating
—	1 Vote	In a While I Miss Algebra