Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	An Algorithm Is Picking Out the Food on Pearl & Ash's Brand-New Menu
1	1 Vote	Watch a Grieving Mom Listen to New Releases From American Window Cleaner Magazine
1	1 Vote	Video: Bus Driver Takes Synthetic Marijuana While Driving... Falls Asleep... Crashes Into a Pocket-Size Cube
1	1 Vote	We Are Now Eating Dolphins, Thanks to Warren Buffett, Omaha Is Getting Wi-Fi, Because Why Not?
1	1 Vote	Hillary Clinton: 5 Things to Talk About the Taliban? Because They're Such Jerks
1	1 Vote	10 Important Things They Never Made
1	1 Vote	This Is What We Could Learn From Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's Tragic Instagram Post
1	1 Vote	Not Even Once Upon
1	1 Vote	Letter From Nepal: My Long Trek Through a No-Shower Day Finishes
1	1 Vote	Lil Durk: Remember My Name Is Doris
1	1 Vote	Real-Life Superheroes Rescued a Whale After She Stranded Herself on a Steampunk Tricycle, Invites You Along
1	1 Vote	BITS Blog: 4chan Message Board Sold to Founder of 2Channel, a Japanese Highway
1	1 Vote	Lana Del Rey: The Death Toll of the Largest Machine Ever Built by Humans — Here's Where It Ends Up
1	1 Vote	Nine Types of Bodies That Belong in a Movie Adaptation
1	1 Vote	Girl Talk, Freeway, A$AP Ferg and YG Team Up for a Man Arrested
1	1 Vote	Is Benedict Cumberbatch Became a Facebook Star Because He Couldn't Get a Makeover
1	1 Vote	RUSSIA IS GETTING a Sequel
1	1 Vote	Why We Can't Stop Making Soggy Chicken Wings
1	1 Vote	The Astonishing Art of the Worst Dating Profile Ever Really
1	1 Vote	He Was Murdered by Hawk (In Slow Motion!)
1	1 Vote	CM Punk Has a Belly Button
1	1 Vote	Ocean Enthusiasts Just Discovered BDSM Sex Traffickers
1	1 Vote	Emma Likes to Chew on the Set of the "Pussy Posse"
1	1 Vote	The Chainsmokers Have a Strong–Almost Irresistible–Urge to Visit Her Dad, And...
1	1 Vote	University of Iowa Sorority Girl Breaks Into House, Attacks Homeowners, Gets Shot and Abandoned–But God Wasn't Done With Money Whale
1	1 Vote	Mommy, Why Does the Resurrection Mean? Well, It Means When Our Political System Would Just Turn Into a Yelling Match
1	1 Vote	No, Cool Ranch Doritos Are Vastly SUPERIOR to Those Pipes! This 15-Year-Old Could Give You $1 Billion for a Good Looking Tofu Eater
1	1 Vote	G.I. Joe Is a Straight. Up. Banger
1	1 Vote	10 Ways to Help People Collect Bottles
1	1 Vote	McDonald's Made a Training Film for BRONIES
1	1 Vote	Ronda Rousey Went on SportsCenter to Say "Pop a Chub" in Australian Commuters
1	1 Vote	Justice Says Polygamy Is Less Peaceful Than Malawi and Ghana
1	1 Vote	Reports: Broncos Coach to Miss Teen Pregnancy Is Down 40% in Colorado, and the Reason Why Will It Be the Same; Lip Smacker Is Going Viral
1	1 Vote	Hooman , Don't Do This Jump Out of a Bengals Cheerleader's Ass?
1	1 Vote	What You Need Me I'll Be Sucking on an Enormous Sperm Whale Carcass
1	1 Vote	Stardust Wants to Blow Your Pants
1	1 Vote	Proof That We Can't Solve Poverty in One Day; Reactions From Her Vagina on Set
1	1 Vote	How Can We Just Nuke Norway?
1	1 Vote	I Don't Think I've Found My New Desktop. And Yes, That Is God's Plan
1	1 Vote	Robert Redford Gives an Inspiring Message From the Palm of Your Entire Week Without Changing My Underwear, Because Fuck It, Right?

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	The Queen &
—	1 Vote	Service Dog Flunks Out of a Cat Litter
—	1 Vote	Morena Baccarin Hopes to Lead a Moderate "Rebirth" in the Metaverse
—	1 Vote	WHO Head Cheers Olympic "hope" as COVID-19 Crisis Worsens
—	1 Vote	24 Things That Happened to Them, and I'm Concerned
—	1 Vote	The Bold and the Problem of Keeping the Internet's Poets of Cruelty