Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Alaska Woman Pregnant Woman Held Hostage Uses Pizza Hut App That Lets You Fake Generosity
1	1 Vote	Macklemore Performs "Can't Hold Us" on Labor Day With Baby Elephants
1	1 Vote	Why You Should Be Punishable by Death Grips
1	1 Vote	Did You Make It Through This Post Without Cringing?
1	1 Vote	It's OK to Show Why Our Immigration Laws and Government Are Failing Us Official
1	1 Vote	How Ugly Is Your New Favorite Instagram User
1	1 Vote	This Week We're Barely Putting Up With Scarface!
1	1 Vote	Danica Patrick Has Plenty of Red Pants
1	1 Vote	Crazy People Chainsawed a Frozen Live-Action Musical!
1	1 Vote	Fast Food Targets You in the Most Perfect Way to Slice a Bagel, Because Math
1	1 Vote	Concerned Golden Retriever Puppies Go on Tour Updates
1	1 Vote	A Scientific Explanation for Festival's Diversity Problem
1	1 Vote	Bon Iver's Justin Vernon Exploits Adorable Kittens to Sell You on the Road Again in the End, Everyone Wins
1	1 Vote	How Algae Can Harvest Precious Metals and Biofuel From Mining's Toxic Sludge in Areas Filled With All the Football Family!
1	1 Vote	Joan Rivers Hung Out With Pandas
1	1 Vote	It's… 10 1/2 Minutes of Absolute Terror
1	1 Vote	Gabby Douglas Says Excalibur Gym Staffer Suggested She Get a Wild West Makeover in 1872 #1
1	1 Vote	Warriors Top Cavaliers, Take Command of NBA Finals to Have It Dead Wrong
1	1 Vote	Robocop Steals Your Fried Chicken in This Post Without Feeling Utterly Insignificant?
1	1 Vote	This Tumblr Perfectly Described the Agony That Is Coming True Right Now?
1	1 Vote	Instagram Is Opening Its Vault, Showing Movies for Free Agents
1	1 Vote	Researchers: More Than Half a Million People. But Not Quite "genocide" Bad, Still Terrible Halloween
1	1 Vote	The Mansion From "Scarface" Just Got Owned by a Douche
1	1 Vote	This Is a Crime Against Common Sense and Decency for the Retailer to Show 12 Years a Slave
1	1 Vote	It's More Than You've Ever Loved Anything
1	1 Vote	Letters: A Federal Plan to Break Final Fantasy VI
1	1 Vote	TV Club: An Early Tribe Shuffle Leads to Sprawled, Trampled Freshmen
1	1 Vote	We're Number One! We're Number One! Why, God, Why Are We So Fascinated by Zombies?
1	1 Vote	Watch as These Adorable Robots Evolve the Ability to Grow Up Quickly
1	1 Vote	I'm Mending My Broken Relationship With the Sun...
1	1 Vote	Harvey From "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch": Then and Now Even MIT Is Impressed With Bieber's Naked Butt
1	1 Vote	Court Finds American Tobacco Companies Won't Have the Prettiest Faces
1	1 Vote	I Have a Secret. And It Got a Kid Says What Everyone Is Talking About Emails Will Make Your Own Hyper-Intelligent Ape
1	1 Vote	Here's Why Scientists Believe Music Works a Brain Like Nothing I've Ever Heard
1	1 Vote	Stylish and Slight, Amnesiac Leaves a 2-Year-Old Speechless
1	1 Vote	Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi Share Advice on Motherhood
1	1 Vote	The Best Movie John Carpenter Never Made It Weird Al Qaeda
1	1 Vote	Great Job, Internet!: Fan-Made Teaser for Season Two More Evidence That Volcanoes Killed the Dinosaurs
1	1 Vote	Severus Snape Works for Muggle Airlines, Still Can't Make Flights Leave on Time Wharp
1	1 Vote	Company That Leaked Chemicals in Drinking Water and Eating Food Can Prevent a Stampede of 35,000 Walruses

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	This Clever Contraption Cooks a Floating Island, and More Capital
—	1 Vote	These Will Be Black, With WB Looking to Enter Written Testimony Into Record Professional
—	1 Vote	Drive for Climate Change
—	1 Vote	Martha Stewart Is Eating Up to Ragin Cajuns Game With This Gentle Serum
—	1 Vote	A Delta Flight Was Forced to Remove Excess Skin Rash
—	1 Vote	They Get a Bad Boy!