Recent Comments

Chiefs-Patriots and Rams-Saints Promise One Thing: Lots of Wild Monkeys With Herpes—and That Number Could Double Soon

ranjello

I think that number doubled with the Patriots and Rams' overtime victories.

The Government Is Shut Down

ranjello

That is currently correct.

Dr. Phil Wants to Be President

nomevir

Oh dear god, no!

Where's the Dinner Party, I Brought My Can Opener for NOTHING!

ranjello

Dinner isn't all about cans.

New Breast Cancer "Calculator" Could Help Bees Fight Off Deadly Disease

jot

Hurr durr, BOOBEES.

This Isn't a Crime

blastinus

Yet.

California Today: California Today: California Today: California Today: What's That Smell?

blastinus

Combo breaker!

jot

Burnt toast?

Little Elephant Playing With Gun to "Fulfill Prophecy"

blastinus

Dang, Disney's getting hardcore these days.

Michigan Restaurant Owner Offers Free Meals

velocityvsheadlines

and this is actually really cool

China Is Building a 1,000-Mile Wall?

ranjello

No, it already built a Great Wall.

MORE Than a Fetus

grimelords

more than a feeeetus

Alzheimer's Linked to Deforestation

vulcan64

"Wait, I don't remember gathering firewood today..."

Darkness Is Actually Edible

misericordia

Low in calories too!

Things Are Going to Suck

lizzardtong

Ah good, i was worried it might be a good day today.

Aquaman Set to Resign

velocityvsheadlines

but he did so good though

Trump Foundation Is Shutting Down Next Year IN the Future Tense

velocityvsheadlines

Doesn't the term next year mean in future tense

Fun Day at the Border Patrol

velocityvsheadlines

Bring your wife bring your kids we all get put in cells

China Offers Trump a "Madman"

velocityvsheadlines

isn't he already one though

We're Gonna Impeach the MOTHER F*CKER! (VIDEO) Insufferable

velocityvsheadlines

jeez

This Is the Fed

velocityvsheadlines

all i could read this as is to the tune of this is america

Samsung Is Serving 5 Years Probation

velocityvsheadlines

what did they do?

Robots Are Replacing Humans in Cemeteries

ranjello

It's great!

The German Economy Just Had Sex With a Capital C

ranjello

Cex?

Here's How to Celebrate Six Months

yuta

happy new semester

2018 Is Here, Baby!

ranjello

And time just started turning back!

Homer Was a Poet

ranjello

True.

This Must End. Now.: 8-Year-Old Boy Dies From Rabies After Bitten by Barry Manilow

crystalgemology

Yes! If Barry Manilow has rabies we must stop him biting people!

I Feel F**king Great! I Should Kill Myself

crystalgemology

That turned dark pretty quickly

10 Reasons Why Santa Is Sexy (?)

ranjello

You forgot 40,999,996 other reasons!

Hallucinations and $100,000: The Poker Player Who Shut Himself in a Suitcase for Traveling Overseas?

ranjello

Maybe. I'm not sure.

Satellite Spies Methane Bubbling Up From School Employee

jot

Finally! Irrefutable evidence that he who smelt it had not, in fact, dealt it.

Woman Convicted of Illegally Feeding Bears for 10 More New Songs

jot

Bears are nature's jukeboxes.

Gollum Dropped the Weed?

jot

Smeagol doesn't like the hobbitses' smelly leaves! Smeagol wants the Precious!

This Strange Hum Circled the Whole Group

jot

It's probably the refrigerator... or perhaps our parents' voices, or a foreign language in prayer.

Trump Threatens to Shut the F*ck Up

jot

FAKE NEWS! SAD!

Boy Scouts of America Online?

cpiece

Can't wait to earn my 56k Dial-up merit badge!

Actors Whose Lives Were Forever Affected by the Tongue

cpiece

Oh no!! Anything but The Tongue!! D:

Man Shoots Himself in Ankle While Playing With Swords

velocityvsheadlines

ohhh thats how