Headline Smasher

A headboard?

Beto O'Rourke's presidential campaign?

This is, like, a line from a sappy drama about a dying child who loves reading more than anything else in the world, when the doctor is trying to explain renal casts to him.

https://i.imgur.com/7uA1LiX.jpg

2021, if everything goes as well as it can.

Sega does what Nintendon't.

I thought playing games *was* how you stayed single

Awwww...

>:(

:(

...No sources, either. This is like a fucking creepypasta.

V...Vore?

I hate every possible interpretation of this.

that'll teach those journey bastards

Sorry. I'm just really taken with this word salad.

...Whaaaat?

Great, now I'm even MORE likely to be eaten by a Grue.

Still cracks me up. Just the mental image of this intimidating ex-police dog with a poopy butt, being scolded by Steven Tyler with his Steven Tyler face.

One can only hope.

Well, duh.

Is it though?

At Last, a Loaf of Bread!

What?

Our sandwiches will be legendary!

HOORAY! I assume it's sliced bread.

Big if true.

So, are eco-friendly gas-powered cars the key to exterminating humanity?

Ok now that's just going way too far. Someone needs to stop them

Bjork, clutching a knife, with a deranged gleam in her eye: "It's all INSIDE you!"

Everyone reading this who was in elementary school in the mid-'90s just felt a twinge of nostalgia.

Ten different headlines—each one from a different news source than the last—were smashed to create this abomination.

https://headlinesmasher.com/498190

https://headlinesmasher.com/500406

Gee, Bert, that's not very nice!

Be really, really careful if you do this. A guy I knew in college had an integer overflow and immediately died of anaphylactic shock. :(

10/10

This is not your headline, velocity.

[ASMR]

Sonic Mania excepted, of course.

This is the greatest

The Dragon of Bootypest