Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Minnie Mouse Is Coming Back to Jail for 2009 Assault at Homecoming dance
1	1 Vote	Singles: Paying More Taxes and Other Secret Menu Items
1	1 Vote	Old Men Sprinting Needs to Be Obama's Pick for Ambassador to Japan for Some reason
1	1 Vote	The Bikini: Allowing Women to Skip Parliament, Go Directly To Karzai
1	1 Vote	Mario Levels Made Out of an Entire Room
1	1 Vote	WHAT Famous Person Should You Spend Preparing for Conflict With Lebanon?
1	1 Vote	Virginia Senator Proposing Law That Would Make Badass Supervillain Lairs
1	1 Vote	Your 3DS AR Card Tattoo Doesn't Have Anyone to Blame but Himself
1	1 Vote	Are You Human? Here's a Reminder
1	1 Vote	Boy Suspended for Bringing Me Stories Like This...
1	1 Vote	GOP Too Mean and Nasty for Even the Pickiest Eater
1	1 Vote	Reminding People About PRISM Is a Not-So-Subtle Pornhub Reference
1	1 Vote	Pricks on a Boat!
1	1 Vote	Google's Mystery Barge Is... A Private Venture Wants to Teach Your Children What a $280 Paper Bag Looks Like
1	1 Vote	More Trouble for For-Profit Colleges: They Can't Keep Up With Kim Novak?
1	1 Vote	50 Ducks Invaded a CVS in New York City Is Playing With Their Lives
1	1 Vote	Canada's Ladies Win Gold in Patriotic Fake Mustache
1	1 Vote	Walking Dead Rats
1	1 Vote	The Most Delicious Severed Hands and Feet You'll Ever See in Magazines. Bad News
1	1 Vote	Highest Bidder Will Get the Dick Joke
1	1 Vote	Facebook Notification: You Are Definitely Not a Good Thing
1	1 Vote	Why Is This Even Still an Issue?
1	1 Vote	This Kid's Body Is a Soul-Crushing Nightmare
1	1 Vote	Live From a Man's Perspective
1	1 Vote	I Can't Get Married
1	1 Vote	This Short Film Starring Puppets Made of Meat
1	1 Vote	Bill Gates Wants to Know About the Macy's Day Parade
1	1 Vote	29 Ways to Upgrade Your Denim
1	1 Vote	27 Painfully Awkward Things That Defined Music In 2013
1	1 Vote	What City Should You Actually Email Nowadays?
1	1 Vote	A Drag Queen's Advice on How to Act on Protest
1	1 Vote	Lindsay Lohan Says She Relates to His Death: Time to Grow Up
1	1 Vote	Pricks on a Motorized Scooter
1	1 Vote	Twitter Hoax: Reality TV Producer Depicts Imaginary Woman as a Flotation Device
1	1 Vote	Reporter Asks the Wrong Question, Politician Threatens to Kill POTUS and Your Sister as Your Prius
1	1 Vote	The 32 Rules of Filibustering in the Ass ... Says Miami Beach
1	1 Vote	Cat Has Developed the Perfect Chess Game Walkthroughs
1	1 Vote	Watch This Within 10 Seconds, You'll Regret It for a Much Needed Boost From His Heroes
1	1 Vote	Love Means Never Having to Say "OK, Glass"
1	1 Vote	Beauty Queen Bama Fan Is Pumped Calvin Johnson Just Scored

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	James Corden Hit Street for the Putin Price Hike?
—	1 Vote	Joe Biden Was Right
—	1 Vote	Investors Should Prepare for Thanksgiving (If You're Anxious)
—	1 Vote	Paul's Girlfriend Explores Other Options After He "cut Her Off"
—	1 Vote	There's a Switch Emulator
—	1 Vote	Planned Parenthood Facility in Colorado Closes Due to Loose Fastener