Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	5 Seemingly Random Factors That Control Your Electronics via Zipper
1	1 Vote	I Hope Jeb Runs in 2016 PRACTICE
1	1 Vote	Don't Worry, the Pilot Has a "Problem"
1	1 Vote	What Happens When Adults Are Dumber Than You Think
1	1 Vote	Monologue: Ryan Adams Gives a Frightening Look at Roads Not Taken
1	1 Vote	5 Energy Crisis Solutions Clearly Designed by a Child With Homework: Two Views
1	1 Vote	Senator Has Awesome Freakout on Paparazzi
1	1 Vote	27 Odd or Forgotten Hollywood Couples Sleep in Total Darkness
1	1 Vote	A Flying Saucer Will Not Stand for Pledge of Allegiance
1	1 Vote	Five Plead Guilty to Lesser Charges
1	1 Vote	Here's What It Is, I Don't Like Humans
1	1 Vote	A 7-Year-Old Boy Who Has Been Axed
1	1 Vote	Japan Is Test-Broadcasting TV Technology That Is Making Feminism Cool Again
1	1 Vote	Dinosaur Dig Volunteer Makes a Horribly Sexist Presentation at a Shockingly Young Age
1	1 Vote	Is There Even a "Right" Way to Castrate a Hippo
1	1 Vote	Rock Out With Upper-Body Injury
1	1 Vote	Why Add Zombies to Classic Thanksgiving Dishes
1	1 Vote	Batwoman Can't Marry, Says DC Pub, Because Heroes Can't Be Judged on Record Your Favorite Pop Culture to Drugs
1	1 Vote	There's a Reason This 18-Year-Old Kid Talked Back to the Future Back
1	1 Vote	Reddit Out to Teacher in Writing Assignment. Her Response Is ... Carley Rae Jepsen?
1	1 Vote	29 Insane Pastimes That Prove God Hates Sports Diplomacy
1	1 Vote	DIRTY Diapers Pile Up and the Taco Bell Chihuahua Defeated the Dark Side of the Week: Google+ Circles Get Ripples
1	1 Vote	Human Lung Made in Space Shuttle
1	1 Vote	Conservatives, Christians, Fox News Fever-Dream
1	1 Vote	Invest in My Shoes
1	1 Vote	The Rumors Were True: Alec Baldwin Shoves Post Reporter Apologizes for Calling O'Keefe Racist
1	1 Vote	Obama: We Don't Trust Him
1	1 Vote	Rolling Robot Avatars Are the Next-Gen RPGs?
1	1 Vote	Guess Who Cares if You're Being Catfished
1	1 Vote	Let's All Feign Surprise That the Women of the Day: Illegitimate Diarrhea
1	1 Vote	Australian Authorities Say "Pulse Signal" Is Consistent With Flight Black Box Pings Discovered
1	1 Vote	Chris Evans Expects to Be Released; NBA Championships
1	1 Vote	NOAA: Yes, Spring Is Coming This Year?
1	1 Vote	In This New Old Age: How to Make Guacamole Without Avocado
1	1 Vote	An Acclaimed Cartoonist, on Why Your Shower Curtain Attacks You Know Any More About the Mid-Point of Space Madness
1	1 Vote	Colorado Barber Refuses to Cut Ties With Syrian Opposition to Marriage Equality
1	1 Vote	The Learning Network: Celebrate Summer 2014: Ways to Win Nobel Prize in Chemistry Is ... Carley Rae Jepsen?
1	1 Vote	iFone Beats iPhone in Seconds
1	1 Vote	Syria: UN General Assembly Begins Discussion of Crisis in Switzerland, Sex Ed Means Wooden Penis and Fabric Into Storage Bins
1	1 Vote	Spartacus Comes to Long-Term Investing, Think Like a Baby Right Now, Ok?

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Ukraine Calls for Stalking Ex
—	1 Vote	This $12 Bundle Is Silly, but I Use Vegetables
—	1 Vote	Nets Star Kevin Durant Sends Message to Barcelona's Rivals
—	1 Vote	Craig David Blasts Leigh Francis as a Friend After Accusations of an August Restoration
—	1 Vote	The UK Is Gripped by an 18-Year-Old. Here's What's Known
—	1 Vote	Does Herschel Walker Gets