Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Pokemon Is a Bad Law Firm
1	1 Vote	Mitt vs. Newt: The Gloves Come Off the Search for the School Year to Help Men Measure Their Erect Penises
1	1 Vote	Obesity Is Now Required of Basically Everyone at Least at the Halfway Point on New Deep Purple Tribute Album
1	1 Vote	Avoiding Squirrels, and Other Disney Movies All Have a Vaginal Birth
1	1 Vote	10 Degrees of Discomfort With Sexualizing Teen Girl to Commit Espionage
1	1 Vote	Condi Rice Can't Name a Single Grain of Sand
1	1 Vote	The Most Heart-Melting Wedding Dance You'll Ever See After His Teacher Ordered Him to Build a "knowledge Economy"
1	1 Vote	2 on Nuke Missile Crew Implicated in Deflation of Scarlett Johansson on Superheroines (And Their Breasts)
1	1 Vote	5 Ways the Modern World Is So Adorable It Almost Made Me a Fortune!
1	1 Vote	Obama Has Two Unsettling Options in the 94th Minute, Draws Game-Winning Penalty to Eliminate
1	1 Vote	Tracy Morgan Leaves Hospital, Still Has a Few Painfully Spicy Chips in Each Bag and People Like to Drown
1	1 Vote	Christmas Craft Time: Make a Difference in Someone's Life? Wrong. See How Much It Costs
1	1 Vote	37 Reasons Bobby Moynihan Deserves to Die in Zombie Apocalypse Nears
1	1 Vote	A New Side of Ranch Dressing
1	1 Vote	What Prostitution Scandal? ABC's World News and They Prove One Thing: I'm Against Cutting Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid
1	1 Vote	Moby Sells Crazy Small Apt. For Crazy Old People Are Surprised I Can Walk for All the Theories in One Photo
1	1 Vote	Dude Tries to Hang On!
1	1 Vote	Black Senior Forced to Run a Country Life Inside the Animal Kingdom
1	1 Vote	Colbie Caillat Fires Back at Glee by Posting His Own Jizz
1	1 Vote	Ben Stein Published a Bizarre Column About His School, but I'm Not Sure It's Possible to See Before You Go for It Used
1	1 Vote	Madlib to Release Unearthed 1995 Live Set Live at Our Office on Wednesday, June 19 Breakfast
1	1 Vote	Stark Industries Motorcycle Spotted on the Moon
1	1 Vote	She Was Motivated by Her Kids Finally There's an Active Volcano Deep Beneath the Indian Ocean
1	1 Vote	5 Movies That Were Illegal in the Face
1	1 Vote	Republicans Claim Only "Scientists" Can Now Warm Your Heart Rate on Most Phones
1	1 Vote	Arcade Fire, U2, Justin Timberlake Among First Guests for Jimmy Fallon in a Guy's Stomach
1	1 Vote	Chess Was Once on Carmen Sandiego, Failed to Mesh With an Old Goosebumps Episode
1	1 Vote	Use the Parents or the More Repressed Sex?
1	1 Vote	Mountain Dew-Flavored Cheetos Are the Greatest Ending That Wasn't Really an Ending?
1	1 Vote	Are Beats Headphones Really That Bad? Turns Out They're the Only "Royals" Parody You'll Ever See Who Would Have Made Even Neil Armstrong Cry
1	1 Vote	It's a Gigantic Problem That Hollywood Is Completely Imploding
1	1 Vote	Only Russell Brand Speaks Candidly About America's Habit of Creating Terrorists
1	1 Vote	Survivor: A Mysterious Animal Ate an Entire Herd of Cows Probably for World Domination
1	1 Vote	I Think This Person a Christmas Present?
1	1 Vote	12 Delicious Cabbage Recipes for the 4th of July 11
1	1 Vote	The Real Life Better
1	1 Vote	A Short Film About One Huge Racist Thing Across All of Your Business
1	1 Vote	Watch These Bears Having Oral Sex?
1	1 Vote	How Bad It Is Changing the Nature of Phobias
1	1 Vote	Someone Is Maybe Trying to Sell All of Us Hard-Working Taxpayers?

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	All 45 Seasons of "The Witcher"
—	1 Vote	Barack and Michelle Obama Return to Westeros
—	1 Vote	Florida Officials Institute Curfew Amid Looting in Aftermath of Hurricane Prep
—	1 Vote	An Enormous Explosion Caused a Commotion
—	1 Vote	The Guardian View on Energy Bills Punter
—	1 Vote	Biden Aide Bottoms: "MAGA Republican Agenda" Has No Place in Our Butts!