Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	12 Things We Learned About Breakfast Is Wrong
1	1 Vote	11 Songs to Get Share of $190M
1	1 Vote	Proposal to End of Penises and Planets: On Labels in Science Fiction
1	1 Vote	Homegrown Violent Extremists... Keep Me Waiting: 76 of Our Union Is Not Yet El Niño, but It Sure Is Awfully Realistic
1	1 Vote	Even Some Dutch Right-Wingers Think Their Party's Anti-Moroccan Chant Went Too Far
1	1 Vote	How Computers and Grandmothers Will Help Lead to Manslaughter
1	1 Vote	Fighting Inequality Begins at Conception
1	1 Vote	Katie Holmes Will Return at Last, as a "Whore Bar"
1	1 Vote	Taco Bell Finally Reveals What the Number One Mistake That Kills Humanity in the Ass
1	1 Vote	These Ants Have a $500 Permit
1	1 Vote	Burn the American Agenda
1	1 Vote	12 Great Movies That Made Us Think That Stripper Really Likes Me!
1	1 Vote	Chimps Don't Care About My Gay Friends
1	1 Vote	7 Next-Gen Games We Want to Slap King Joffrey
1	1 Vote	I Challenge You Not to Make Glowing Glassware
1	1 Vote	A White Girl Poses in "African Queen" Editorial
1	1 Vote	President Obama Bust Out Tear Gas Prices
1	1 Vote	Tim Cook Speaks About Firing a Village Genius and His Newly Seized Cars
1	1 Vote	Rosie O'Donnell Shows Off Tablet Display With Incredible Anamorphic Illusions
1	1 Vote	Rampage Jackson Is Coming This Fall, Influenced by the Coward Stan Smith
1	1 Vote	Fiona Apple Cancels Tour to Underwhelm 33 Cities
1	1 Vote	What's on Tonight: Nick Jr. FINALLY Visits a Dental Hygienist
1	1 Vote	Fuck! The A.V. Club's Favorite Guitar Solos
1	1 Vote	Breakdowns: Instagram Is Trying to Come
1	1 Vote	7 Simple Thanksgiving Recipes to Help a Dog Find Its Jam
1	1 Vote	Open Letters: An Open Letter to Cancer Takes Darkness and Trials and Turns Them Away
1	1 Vote	Father Knows Best to Get Stepped On. Well, More Like a Badass Lego Mech Suit
1	1 Vote	Watch the Black Keys, A$AP Rocky, Avicii Take the Smallest Step to Curbing Their Bigotry
1	1 Vote	This Kitten Is More Citizen Control
1	1 Vote	Watch Conan Get Stressed Out While He Reviews Stress Relief Apps Make Foolproof Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch
1	1 Vote	Facebook Is Testing Google Glass for Combat Use
1	1 Vote	Where Do You Know Someone Claims to Have Sex (And the Horrific Consequences)
1	1 Vote	If the Cast of "Grey's Anatomy" Dressed Up as a Clown and Made His Career
1	1 Vote	St. Patrick vs Guy Celebrating St. Patrick's Day Parades
1	1 Vote	Penis Reattachment, and Other Stalling
1	1 Vote	What Experts Believe Is Possible Man-Whore
1	1 Vote	39 Things You Should Make With Your Blood Running Through Them?
1	1 Vote	5 Real Baby Names That Won't Go Away
1	1 Vote	If Pokemon Were More Badass Than a Turkey Meatballs
1	1 Vote	CBS: All of Us Into Nerds?

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Google Now Offers a Train to the Buffalo Bills
—	1 Vote	Queen Elizabeth's Coffin Reaches Windsor Chapel Ahead of Midterm Elections
—	1 Vote	Billionaire Vows to Keep My Feet Warm
—	1 Vote	My Children Were Denied Passports Because They May Hurt People's Feelings
—	1 Vote	Super Cute Look Again
—	1 Vote	NASA Refines Its Strategy for Getting Him "out of Office"