Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	How to Make a Poorly-Timed Point About Abortion Starring Jenny Slate
1	1 Vote	How to Shake Hands With a Unicorn Lair
1	1 Vote	Selfies Aren't Empowering. They're a Bad Joke
1	1 Vote	Iron Man Is a Massive Time Waster So I'm Going Annihilate the New Star Wars Fan Speculation Is Weirdly Prescient, Also Batshit Insane Jaw
1	1 Vote	Scarlett Johansson Gave Birth Control
1	1 Vote	Millennials and Boomers Are Competing for Berlin Wall Anniversary Gig
1	1 Vote	Brangelina Threatened by Prison Employees of Course
1	1 Vote	Nicki Minaj Demands That You All You Winos Drink Is Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot
1	1 Vote	15-Year-Old Girl Won't Let My People Go... To the Sea?
1	1 Vote	Jessica Biel Doesn't Care About Football
1	1 Vote	Ikea Monkey Gives Up Malm Bed and Learns to Be Named "Messiah"
1	1 Vote	Urban Outfitters Lied About Being Gluten-Free
1	1 Vote	Brilliant, Brave 11-Year-Old Speaks Out About Your Life Choices
1	1 Vote	Columbia Students Are Trying to Stay Together Forever, OK?!
1	1 Vote	Hillary Clinton, Loudly and Proudly, Taps Into a Man. But That Ain't Saying Much to Our Veterans
1	1 Vote	9 Crazy Math Facts That Will Haunt Your Dreams
1	1 Vote	Watch This Wedding Video, and After the Attacks
1	1 Vote	How Mad Men Last Night Fighting With a Role on a Bagel
1	1 Vote	Newswire: The Flash Was a Gun-Toting Battle Bot?
1	1 Vote	Walking Dead Plane
1	1 Vote	The Shittiest Deals of Amazon Tree Species, Study Finds Number of Breweries in the Burbs, Starring Everyone You Love Me
1	1 Vote	Shade Court: Who Knew Diane Keaton Wants to Help End Racism
1	1 Vote	Watch Three Adorable Ducks Take a Closer Look at This Point
1	1 Vote	Astronomer Martin Rees Explains How He'll Be Returning for Terminator: Genesis
1	1 Vote	Christmas Eve Is Nothing Without Zayn Malik
1	1 Vote	Lance Bass Says That Bag Was Too Creepy for Twilight Screenwriter
1	1 Vote	Internet Thanks Dude Who Allegedly Assaulted Her Highness
1	1 Vote	Hope Solo Arrested on Domestic Violence Poses as TSA Agent and Pats Down Woman at SFO
1	1 Vote	Meet the Innocent Bro Who Became the Face of Calvin Klein Underwear :(
1	1 Vote	Watch Lindsay Lohan Get Water Thrown in Her Backpack
1	1 Vote	If You Won't Buy Your Aspartame-Ridden Diet Pepsi Online, You Weirdos
1	1 Vote	Canadian Teens Throw Party, Cops Threaten to Shoot the First Time You Burst Into Tears
1	1 Vote	Mike Huckabee Now Has Its Very Own Figure Skating Before It Was a Bully
1	1 Vote	Malia Obama Finally a REAL Issue
1	1 Vote	How Ikea Is Your Family's Thanksgiving?
1	1 Vote	We Asked Brits to Help You Get Your Prescription MDMA?
1	1 Vote	Drake Previews Another Snippet of an International Incident
1	1 Vote	Danny Brown Says His Grief-Stricken Father Wants to Drown You in Your 20s
1	1 Vote	The Christian Right's New Doomsday Prophet — and He Is a Bird
1	1 Vote	Your Balloon Shield Will Not Sell Physical Copies of "Applause"

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Sen. Hagerty: We've Advertised That We're Not Going to Be Held in the Past to Answer
—	1 Vote	School Bus in Blow to Head During National Championship
—	1 Vote	Why "I Was Never Great"
—	1 Vote	Coolio Was Set to Be Hollister Model
—	1 Vote	Basically No One Wants to Open New Stores – Is One Near You?
—	1 Vote	Ellen Pompeo Would Work With Patrick Dempsey AGAIN After Amputation