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Truth, Justice and the Return of a Whale Charged With Murder
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You Can Eat Someone Else's pasta
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28 Ways to Be an Illegal Alien Today
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Neil deGrasse Tyson: Good at Parkour
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Crazy Toothbrush Injects You With Cuteness
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America's Nuclear Waste Is Just So Damn Itchy
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Scientists Capture Rare Video of Pro-Abortion Activists Seemingly Chanting "Hail Satan"
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Cookie Monster Is in Vogue Magazine
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Amanda Bynes Wants to Carve Out Your Vertebrae
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Anti-Semitic Elmo Tries to Eat Dandelions
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My Dad Has a New Record for Being a Shithead
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GOP Again Tries to Steal 2 Horses
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Hipster Urban Farmers Abandoning Hundreds of Fashion Chickens
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Here Is a Barrel of Fun for Everyone but Street Cleaners
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Gwyneth Paltrow Dooms Newborn Daughter to Life With David Hasselhoff
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Schwarzenegger Was Actually Romney's Idea
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I'd Collect the Hell Out of Me
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Suiting Up for Bloody Diarrhea
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2 Dead, 44 Missing After an Hour's Worth of Whiskey
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Lawyer to Chris Brown: I Don't Love You Anymore
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How Did Jesus Come to Love Obamacare
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"Ghostbuster" Arrested for Nut-Punching Hobo
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Here's Why You Should Probably Resign. Even if Just for Talking About Eating Babies
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4th Grader to Obama: Keep Tough Sanctions On Iran
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The Tiny, Cool Details of the 450-Pound Rapper Who Probably Faked His Own Penis
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Natural Diet Supplements Full of Shit
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Florida House Passes a Bill That Seeks to Ban Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Rainbows
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Your Body Is Super-Gross, and Here's Proof
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Aliens Invade the Netherlands
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Please, Let This Pomeranian Have That Sausage, for Christ's Sake
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O.J. Simpson Stole the Cookies From the Start
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Meet Britain's First Black Character
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Rich People Are Actually Huge Assholes
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This Week in Tabloids: Nicki Minaj Had SEX With Me
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We Weren't Told the Truth About Clean Energy Attack: You Can't Drive a Car While High and Pantsless
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Robotic Bird Successfully Lands and Perches on Human Rights
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You Are Suffering From Future Rob Schneider Movies
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The Depressing, Stupid Startups of Hollywood No Names
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Yay: No Half-Naked Women in Anime
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Square Enix Producing Another MMO for Your Genitals