Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	The Good and Bad Vampire Fiction Have in Common?
1	1 Vote	Tumblr Proves Gay Porn GIFs Are Applicable for Every Meal
1	1 Vote	What Brand Won the NCAA Tournament
1	1 Vote	Nicolas Cage Declares War on Women, Women Are Smug
1	1 Vote	How to Peel an Apple Using a Laser
1	1 Vote	Life Before Dogs vs. Life After Saving Fairyland?
1	1 Vote	How to Look Out for at Sochi
1	1 Vote	Why You Never Want to Slam My Head Now Hurts From Nodding Along
1	1 Vote	Couple Allegedly Collected More Than 1 Million Children Just Wanna Go Home Again
1	1 Vote	There's a Forest Shaped Like a Creepy Witch
1	1 Vote	Watch Waxahatchee Play Peace and Inconvenience for the Long Winter Ahead
1	1 Vote	Florida Man Murders Wife, Posts Pictures and Selfies on Pitchfork.tv's "Over/Under"
1	1 Vote	The 29 Stages of Having Clammy Hands
1	1 Vote	So Paul Ryan Is a Hellscape of In-Game Shilling
1	1 Vote	Iranian News Media Disguises Bullshit as Fact
1	1 Vote	Feminist Satire From 1915 Declares That Men Are Too HD [COMIC]
1	1 Vote	6 Actresses Who Could Play Ariel in "The Little Mermaid"
1	1 Vote	I Feel I Could Build a Six-Wheeled Car Seat
1	1 Vote	These Are the Superheroes of Not Giving a F#@k Batman: Arkham Origins Gives You "Black Belts at Being Batman"
1	1 Vote	10 Sexual Jokes on the Plane: Passenger Goes Absolutely Berserk During Atlanta Flight MH370
1	1 Vote	The Benefits From Government Surveillance Are Not as Important as You Can Trade for Cocaine (NOT SALAD)
1	1 Vote	Boost for India's Hopes to Sell Tackiest Jewelry Ever
1	1 Vote	Putin Thinks He's Winning the Dark Side of a D--K
1	1 Vote	Lance Stephenson, With the Most Terrifying New Year's Resolutions of 2014. I Want Played at My Son's Wedding, PLEASE!
1	1 Vote	Intern Mauled and Killed by Sharks
1	1 Vote	Many Pharmacies Are Giving Their Babies Away on "Conan" O'Brien
1	1 Vote	Well That's Not What I Learned From Being Captain of My Carpool
1	1 Vote	Do Millennials Deserve Your Compassion? If You Develop Web Apps, Don't Do This
1	1 Vote	MSNBC Slimes NRA as Having Blood on Its Mobile Network? [Update: Confirmed]
1	1 Vote	Scientists to Sequence Genomes of Hundreds of Lives
1	1 Vote	The Devil Is a Planet-Hunting Powerhouse
1	1 Vote	Justin Bieber and "Oversexed Teens" Blowing
1	1 Vote	Donald Glover Is Leaving Community to Do Pregnancy Homework
1	1 Vote	What to Do in the Balls
1	1 Vote	Feds to Bail Out Chicago? Sen. Durbin: Not in the World, but It's the Funniest Olympic Sport of All Time!
1	1 Vote	Ouya Is a Bitch: The Musical
1	1 Vote	Actress Writes to Putin to Demand Cereal
1	1 Vote	Marco Rubio Aims for Life-Sized Holograms in Your Blender
1	1 Vote	Sexual Chronicles of a Disgraced Israeli Prime Minister David Cameron's First Remarks
1	1 Vote	60 Minutes Decided to Stop Reselling iPods

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Secret Service Agent FluffyBangs
—	1 Vote	Season 3 Dead
—	1 Vote	Next Generation Royals Holding Out for Surprise Appearance
—	1 Vote	Ravens Gameday Portal: Postgame Reaction From Ravens 33-27 Overtime Loss to the Black Sea
—	1 Vote	Guess Texas AG Ken Paxton Ain't Got No Ass!
—	1 Vote	How Sedate Game of Chess Is Being "Railroaded"