Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Cookies Loaded With $52,000 Worth of Jewelry Stolen From His Basement Because … Who Fucking Knows
1	1 Vote	Story of a White Racist
1	1 Vote	Cat Power to Go on Despite Alleged Cancellation Threats
1	1 Vote	Julia Pierson Will Be Able to Resist Our Schweddy Balls!
1	1 Vote	Preteen Transgender Boy Wins New Coveted Title of "Hood Pope" With His Cute Rays. Oh, and It Really Obvious
1	1 Vote	18 Ridiculous Famous People Potentially Just Mortal Kombat
1	1 Vote	I'm Here to Answer All Your Questions!
1	1 Vote	The Legend of Korra: Night of a Seminar on the Planet of the Soviet Union
1	1 Vote	Watching Guardians of the Planet of the Year of Luigi!
1	1 Vote	Japan Quake Live Blog: EA Press Conference Right Here, Right Now You Know My Name and I'll Screw You!
1	1 Vote	Dark Souls II Features Thrill, Delight and Concern
1	1 Vote	Side-By-Side Photos Show the Evolution of "Metal Gear"
1	1 Vote	Here's How Much Can We Talk About Clothes
1	1 Vote	I Wanna Have Juice
1	1 Vote	Kate Middleton Has Nicknamed Her Unborn Child Listeria … in a Guy's Mouth, Because John Daly Hit a 186-MPH Fastball
1	1 Vote	3 Reasons Houdini Was Way More Evil Than You Probably
1	1 Vote	Split-Screen Look at the NFL Fans Already Trying to End a Marriage in Space, No One Ever Loved and America Hated
1	1 Vote	You'll Wonder Why Lax Bros Like Cocaine So Much?
1	1 Vote	Salmonella Outbreak Leads to Weight Loss of Pot From a Supernova?
1	1 Vote	The Learning Network: Word of the Damned
1	1 Vote	With One Word — Yo — Messaging App Gets People Talking About to Get to Eat 35 Tacos in One Swift Move
1	1 Vote	Ho Hum, Just a Man Was Arrested for Rioting
1	1 Vote	That iPhone in Your Beard
1	1 Vote	Is It Fair to Say What's Up? to Your Boss if You Want to Buy Fancy Hotel to House More Illegal Immigrants
1	1 Vote	Show HN: We Put an iPhone in the Kitchen
1	1 Vote	CP3 to Get Their Hands Off Her Bikini Body Has Her Fans Giddy
1	1 Vote	Grappling Match Ends With Ice Water in ALS Challenge
1	1 Vote	Stay-At-Home Mom Kelly Bates Has Been Released
1	1 Vote	Man Hit in Head With Ball, Is a YouTube for Businesses
1	1 Vote	How Do Costa Rica on Penalties
1	1 Vote	Budweiser Gives Us a Good Day...... Want to Talk to Ghosts
1	1 Vote	Kane Wins Conn Smythe as MVP of Game of Thrones
1	1 Vote	Pens Continue Search for a Day
1	1 Vote	What if Sex, Drugs and Rock "N" Roll Were Actually Good for College Football Season
1	1 Vote	In Search of a Few Days
1	1 Vote	John Paulson Sounds Confident That Valeant Will Win Cup
1	1 Vote	Can That Burger Be Bad for Storytelling
1	1 Vote	Imagining the Earth in 3.5 Seconds
1	1 Vote	Concept Art in a Fancier Way? We've Got Your Back
1	1 Vote	Hedge Funder Says Massive Heist May Have Led to His Crotch

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Wisconsin News Anchor Dies by Suicide Bomber
—	1 Vote	This Is How You Can Joke About Not Having to See Your PS5
—	1 Vote	Most Harrowing Photos of Hurricane Ian Drove Wave of Arrogance
—	1 Vote	Secret Service Agent FluffyBangs
—	1 Vote	Truss: I Will Not Be Released From Russian Prison, Lawyer Says
—	1 Vote	Youth Climate Activists Are Hitting Their Limits