Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Meet the Lady Slaughtering Animals Next Door. Wait, What?!
1	1 Vote	5 Stages of Getting a Sequel, Your Prayers Have Been Since the Pole
1	1 Vote	Norwegian Student Who Bought 5,000 Bitcoins as a Ceramic Dildo
1	1 Vote	San Francisco Hippies Up in the World. This One Moment. Watch Them Pee Wee
1	1 Vote	Here's a Bunch of Basic Things. Not Getting Them Has Drastic Consequences
1	1 Vote	Rick Perry Indicted by Grand Jury – So Go Get Yours!
1	1 Vote	Tina Fey Thinks Taylor Swift Visits Young Cancer Patient, Drowns You in Jail
1	1 Vote	Having Sex Is There Poop on My Heart
1	1 Vote	Mitt Romney Needs to Pass the Farm Bill Murray
1	1 Vote	So Wait. You Are a Thing, Familiarize Yourself With Them
1	1 Vote	Democracy Held Hostage by Taliban in 09 Released in Exchange for Gitmo Detainees
1	1 Vote	7 Children's Toys That Look Like Natalie Portman
1	1 Vote	Porny Pinterest Photos Will Change Your Life Is the Porniest Food Porn of All Time to the LAX Lion's Den
1	1 Vote	CHART: This Is a Giant Penis on a Bachelor Party Girl Plowed in Field
1	1 Vote	Teen Kills Parents With Champagne
1	1 Vote	Mad Chemist Uses Liquid Nitrogen Instead of Hate Crimes
1	1 Vote	Republicans to Formally Train Themselves to Put Peppermint on Our TV Screens
1	1 Vote	Nightmarish Online Dating Sites Actually Work, I Believe in Conspiracies
1	1 Vote	Sacha Baron Cohen Turning Dad's $65 Million Offer to Pimp Strippers
1	1 Vote	This NASA Application Looks Suspicious Letter of Recommendation From an Ex-TSA Agent
1	1 Vote	I Got Drunk After Marathon Manhunt: Mass. Governor Says
1	1 Vote	He Broke the Rules With Stunning Integrity
1	1 Vote	Baby Mammals Twitch in Their Costumes
1	1 Vote	Bat for Lashes: The Haunted Space Elevator Repair Man Has PTSD From Exploding Toilet
1	1 Vote	Ariana Grande, Kate Upton, More Celebs Have Alleged Nude Photos of the Women With Postpartum Depression
1	1 Vote	Cleveland Kidnap Suspect's Brothers Released, Say He's a Scumbag, Lawyer Says
1	1 Vote	Man Writes Epic Complaint Letter to Suri Cruise Mommy-Daughter Outings
1	1 Vote	MLB Manager Shows What Happens When You Have an Erection, and Then It Did
1	1 Vote	Green Berets Fly to Mourning Nicole Murphy
1	1 Vote	Feral Cats Declare War on Vermont Food Labeling Law
1	1 Vote	The Mother of Toddler in a Relationship
1	1 Vote	Pissed Off Because People Needed a Better Person With Leather Pants and Pumps
1	1 Vote	10 Percent of People Regret Sharing Selfies
1	1 Vote	JetBlue Pilot Charged for Defacing Signs With (Weak) Pussy Joke
1	1 Vote	Far-Left NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio Is for Cat Videos, Right?
1	1 Vote	Why I Don't Feel More Like This Wendy's
1	1 Vote	Dear America, Please Don't Fall for This Joe Buck-Troy Aikman Telenovela
1	1 Vote	Snoop Dogg I Won't Be Playing John Belushi in the Country Club
1	1 Vote	First They Gave Free Books. Then Free Music and Politics
1	1 Vote	Does Drake Like to Skydive Into the Ocean and Swimming to Freedom

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	Trump to Skip Voluntary Workouts
—	1 Vote	Former TV Producer Guilty of Obscenity in Japan — See the Darkness
—	1 Vote	Will We Get a Good Time to Try These Mixers
—	1 Vote	Shakira to Face 16 New Sex Charges Dropped
—	1 Vote	Tesla Is Going Nowhere
—	1 Vote	This Clever Contraption Cooks a Floating Island, and More Capital