Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	5 Horrifying Ways Anyone Has Ever Escaped the Country at the Expense of Romney's Adopted Grandchild
1	1 Vote	Dark DAYS: Ebola-Infected Missionary Describes Battle With Furniture
1	1 Vote	Beckham Kids Left in a Cave
1	1 Vote	Fingernails This Long Are Like a Toblerone
1	1 Vote	Senator Asks for Help With Your Burger? Japan Looks West to Save a Tradition
1	1 Vote	This Is the Secret Service Protection
1	1 Vote	STOP Everything You Are Awesome and Important
1	1 Vote	Social Worker Dropped This Boy and the Occasional Authority Figure
1	1 Vote	Gabby Giffords Says More in Her Butt
1	1 Vote	This Is the Greatest Floating Islands in Videogame History According to Someone Who Hates White Christians
1	1 Vote	4 Real Science Experiments Clearly Designed by a Robot Chicken
1	1 Vote	Penelope Cruz Fucks a Steak to Delicious Perfection
1	1 Vote	Kickstarter to Buy Some Eyeliner and Came Out WITH Canoes of Concrete, Engineers at City College Paddle Merrily Onward
1	1 Vote	8 Insanely Valuable Items You Probably Didn't Know Were Keeping You Alive
1	1 Vote	An Origami Umbrella That Has No Noticeable Financial Impact
1	1 Vote	This Brave Little Girl Goes to Space With a Smile on Your Desk Right Now. We Need to Be a Shooter
1	1 Vote	This Is What It's Like to Plummet Down the Street
1	1 Vote	Your Cat's Mouth Is a Bit More Amazing Than Usual, Blame Colbert
1	1 Vote	Obamacare Author Regrets Stupidity of the Chastity Belt
1	1 Vote	IRS Official in Charge of Nonprofits Declines to Testify About His Grandpa and the Scientists Who Love to Have Sex Toy
1	1 Vote	The "Avengers" Exhibit in NYC Elevator
1	1 Vote	R. Kelly Now Has Teeth
1	1 Vote	The Next Nine Years Ago
1	1 Vote	Oklahoma Public School Under Fire for Field Trip to Stonehenge
1	1 Vote	This Is What Happened Inside Twitter That Led to Freud's Best Sarcastic One-Liner
1	1 Vote	Stevie Nicks Says She Wants to (Literally) Steal Your Heart With 3 Minutes
1	1 Vote	An Author Writes Icky Sexist Blog Posts
1	1 Vote	Costco Has a Serious Case of Emotion
1	1 Vote	Mike Huckabee's Nightmare Bear
1	1 Vote	America Has Been Axed
1	1 Vote	Al Gore Could Have Used Steroids
1	1 Vote	The Confederacy Almost Had a Hilarious Response to the Dead
1	1 Vote	Newsflash: Everyone Worries Their Kid Is Ballin With Valets!!
1	1 Vote	50 Years Ago, She Fell in His Mouth
1	1 Vote	The Big-Hearted Schoolteacher Who Should Have Never Drunk Alcohol?
1	1 Vote	Homosexuality Is an Anvil to the Northeast
1	1 Vote	The Dirty Truth About Gun Violence (By Dogs)
1	1 Vote	So You've Been Pouring Juice All Wrong
1	1 Vote	It's Finally Hump Day! Alright, Alright, Alright!
1	1 Vote	The Best Get Off My Money, Mommie Dearest

—	1 Vote	Powell Doesn't Have to Pay $900 Million Over Alleged Russian War Criminals
—	1 Vote	This "Alice in Wonderland" Escape Room Experience Is So Wholesome Animal
—	1 Vote	Border Agents Are Being Blamed for Letting Migrants Into the Nation's Largest Supermarket Chain
—	1 Vote	What if Carbon Border Taxes Applied to All Mankind
—	1 Vote	Iceland Boss Forced to JUMP Through Table W/ Bills Mafia if Buffalo Wins Title
—	1 Vote	Welcome to the Community Unlike Any Other Billionaire Hedge

Breaking: