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Voted Headlines
344
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Beyoncé May Have Been Stalking Humanity for 70,000 Years
105
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There's a Hostage Situation in Congress. They've Got a Front Page Nipple Photo
100
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How to Open Your Mouth
148
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How Whales Will Save the Whales, by Killing Them
96
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Video: TAKE DOWN Elmo
89
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Taliban Video Shows Einstein Sexually Assaulting Marie Curie
280
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Sick of Rich People Telling Me How to Cut a Mango
361
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Study: College Makes You Miserable
102
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What's a Penis Worth? Turns Out, a Hell of a Crawfish Boil
64
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Rick Perry Is Sending 1,000 Troops to the Moon. Here's Why
395
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A Man Lost His Ability to Succeed
102
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Hideo Kojima Tried & Failed to Eulogize a Clown
36
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Cookie Monster Charged With Giving 23-Month-Old Weed, Because YOLO
179
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Norway Rejects US Request to Destroy Humanity?
171
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Hey Pranksters, Get Your Crotch Set on Fire for WoW's Tenth Anniversary
106
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Fuck Your Delicate Sensibilities, I'm Going to Deal With Netflix Because "It Rhymes With Wet Chicks"
106
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I Survived My Baby's First Hashtag
129
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Beyonce Can't Be the Next Zelda, Nintendo Responds
163
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The 25 Whitest Things That Simply Must Be Stopped
380
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Sega Abandons Notion That Anyone Deserves Anything
497
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11 Reasons You Should Never Exist
216
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Ever See a Frog Mowing the Lawn
123
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Drake Hasn't Actually Made a Pornographic "Parody" of Spongebob Squarepants
110
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NASA Plans to Wear a Dress That's Flattering and Globally Conscious
362
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​Is Marvel Making a Book Bound in Human Skin? Sorry, Not This Time
119
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21 Reasons Delivery People Are Terrified of Him Masturbating
97
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Scottish Independence Movement Leader Inspired by Frozen's Elsa
620
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Mom, Dad, I Have Experienced a Catastrophic Breakdown
146
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Yes, There Is Something Jesus Would Do—You Know, Find the Perfect Earbuds
45
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How to Effectively Sneeze Without Killing Everyone Interested
243
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This Is One Stupid Asshole
81
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Kidnapped California Teen Takes to Twitter After Rescue, Says Her Lesbian Grandmas Can't Get Enough
189
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Guy Claims a Prostitute "Forced" Him to EXPLODE
320
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Nicki Minaj Is Secretly Saving the Planet
47
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Formerly Obese Teenagers Are Using "Words With Friends" to Negotiate Deals
349
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Someone Built a Dang Windmill
259
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You Can Make You Dumber
255
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The Enormous Mission to Find Hope in Humanity
94
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Tom Hanks Is the Reason Your Dog Licked My Balls
284
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Militants Have Taken Over Most of My Couch