Recent Comments

Teenager Collapses and Dies at 69

thepenguinking2

Nice

I Actually Died in Suicide Pact

thepenguinking2

Uh... Success?

How to Fight the Moon

thepenguinking2

Activision would appreciate this

Miners Try to Get F*cked

thepenguinking2

This is one letter off from being VERY bad

graue

love a good working-class romance

I Didn't Know!: Woman Meets Biological Father After Taking Repeated Shots at the Museum of Failure

graue

maybe the real failure was the relatives we met along the way!

Today's Your Last COVID Test

graue

ominous

007 Is Not a Good Role Model

unemondesansdanger

Probably not

Oral Treatment for Anxiety

jot

😳😳😳

Congratulations on the Dong

thepenguinking2

Me congratulating my transmasc friend after he has surgery

Most Americans Want to Kiss a Dinosaur?

thepenguinking2

Kiss a dinosaur today, fuck a dragon tomorrow

Naughty Dog Is Scared of Thunder

thepenguinking2

First Activision being scared of the moon, now this!?

If You Give Kids Cigarettes, Superman Will @#$%Ing Murder You This Weekend

thepenguinking2

This is just a normal headline with two words added to the end.

Oldest Person in US Dies at 49

thepenguinking2

Everyone else just moved to other countries.

Dang You Got Two Boobs

thepenguinking2

Mutated cow

Coronavirus Threatens to Shut Down Due to Coronavirus Concerns

thepenguinking2

It hit itself in confusion!

Japan's Getting a Sequel!

thepenguinking2

Japan 2: The Second one

Oh Boy I'm Getting a Sequel for Some Reason

thepenguinking2

Japan

Heart Attacks Are Linked to Increase Risk of Heart Attacks

thepenguinking2

In other news, autism linked to autism

How to Cut Your Hair at Home for $5.3 Million

rivemont

What a bargain

5-Year-Old Is One Step Closer. Some Parents Can't Wait

metabloxer2

This sounds real???

Tropical Storm Laura Heads to Ohio

metabloxer2

Sheesh

Get Paid to Be Awful

thepenguinking2

Landlords

Yes, You Are Pikachu

thepenguinking2

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon

There Is a Banana

thepenguinking2

Potassium

Jerry Stiller's Cause of Death: He Died

thepenguinking2

My god, it makes so much sense now!

PLEASE Don't Hurt Me Hamo

coolskateboardtricks

Massive Hamster Threatens Civilian

Finally! Spotify Will Now Have a Girlfriend

graue

Saved you a click: The girlfriend is in Canada

You Might Have Committed Treason

kentakino

But don't worry: it was only light treason.

What if the Videos You Watched in Science Class Were Rated R

metabloxer2

That's the cracked article

Stop Using the Word "Banana" Rather Spectacularly

metabloxer2

No

I Went to Bed Last Night

graue

god I wish that were me

I Know Your Foot Size in Centimeters

graue

Oh yeah well I know yours in feet! One foot.

Would Human Extinction Be a Good Idea

thepenguinking2

Yeah, I'd say so.

Watch a Nice Ass

thepenguinking2

If you insist~

Oh, No, No, No. No, No, No, No, No.

thepenguinking2

Whatever happened to
The boy that I one knew

Sorry, Wrong Person Stabbed

thepenguinking2

Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.

Your Internal Organs Are Full of Surprises

thepenguinking2

Diarrhea

I'm a Stupid Idiot

thepenguinking2

So am I

Oh Great, Now I'm Dead

thepenguinking2

Still my favorite smash 7 years later