Headline Smasher | Stupidly Funny Computer-Generated Fake Headlines

1	1 Vote	Time Warner Cable Lowers Price of Fruits and Veggies, Save 200,000 Lives
1	1 Vote	Conor McGregor Plans to Stage the First Time. Ewww!!!
1	1 Vote	Kanye West's the Life I Wish My Penis Had This Option
1	1 Vote	Heather Watson Returns to Hawaii After 237 Years
1	1 Vote	What Kind of Millennial Quits
1	1 Vote	A Man to Have Opinions
1	1 Vote	This Pokémon Bread Doesn't Look So Funky
1	1 Vote	Precious Little Baby Bunny Needs Some Perspective
1	1 Vote	27 Million People Have Spoken
1	1 Vote	I've Struggled With My Cat, Boo !!
1	1 Vote	Become One With Your Last Seven Days!
1	1 Vote	The Secrets Hidden in Your Back Pocket
1	1 Vote	Tesla Unveils Its Latest Product - the Ordinary Postman With Parkinson's Who Will Win Your Love Back With Modern Warfare
1	1 Vote	BEHOLD: The Unhappiest Photo Ever Made of Sticky Notes
1	1 Vote	It's Never Too Early to Teach at 9 p.m
1	1 Vote	19 People Who Are Drowning
1	1 Vote	Saudi-Led Coalition May Be Dropping Condoms—Which Is Bad AF
1	1 Vote	Supreme Court Refuses to Stop Being Ironic
1	1 Vote	I Choked on My Ass
1	1 Vote	Black Women Have Been Announced!
1	1 Vote	Isis Is Committing Genocide. It Is Farting
1	1 Vote	This Is the Saddest, Nicest Thing Ever Seen and Heard: Bus Surveillance Stirs Controversy
1	1 Vote	Andre Drummond Had a Name for Cameron Diaz, and Why Investors Shouldn't Freak Out
1	1 Vote	Daisy Ridley Reveals Rey and Luke Skywalker Could Be Huge Mistakes
1	1 Vote	Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood Will Come Home and Demands Cash for the Gym Rats
1	1 Vote	Hip Hop Struggle to Say Goodbye Sir, I Hope Tech Founders Have Political Aspirations
1	1 Vote	Fact-Checking Episode 5 of the Meat Dress: Katy Perry, Zooey Deschanel & More!
1	1 Vote	The Holy Land, Thanks to the Butcher
1	1 Vote	Be Amazed by Racially Diverse Staff at Trump Rally
1	1 Vote	Apocalyptic Upbringing: How I Felt When I See Their Product on My D Like...
1	1 Vote	Young Hairy Pussy Surprised by a Volatile Mix of Forces
1	1 Vote	Joyride Leaves Trail of Dots Not Connected
1	1 Vote	Trump Is Too Cute!
1	1 Vote	Owls Are a Test of Character...
1	1 Vote	Sam Smith Reveals He's Taking a Bite of Oreo Toothpaste
1	1 Vote	7 Hotels Owned by a Caterer Named "Chef Kool"
1	1 Vote	Midday Open Thread: What Are Urinal Cakes, Anyway?
1	1 Vote	Here's Everything You Need to Do
1	1 Vote	Making Lunch at the Oscars?
1	1 Vote	Greece to Slide Further From Playoff Contention

Breaking:

—	1 Vote	He Could Be in Jail
—	1 Vote	Cruise for Free Speech
—	1 Vote	Don't Forget That Noise!
—	1 Vote	Blah, Blah, Blah! Why It's Good to Us: Steven Bethell, Founder of Fracking Company Cuadrilla
—	1 Vote	Tobey Maguire Looks Like the Real Thing
—	1 Vote	Find a Room in New Unlockable Cutscene