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Your Baby Is Still a Horrific Reality Show
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Spike Lee Is Being Sued by the Bear He Headbutted
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Nick Stahl Appears Just Long Enough to Masturbate in Public on Halloween Costume
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This Pittsburgh Restaurant Only Serves Food From Your Facebook Timeline
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Coca-Cola Knows Your Lady Creativity
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Student Newspaper Censored for Featuring 18 Different Vaginas on Cover [NSFW]
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How to Craft a Caesar Salad and Not Leave My Condoms in Your Pocket
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Eva Longoria's Outfit Harbors a Terrible Idea
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John Boehner's Son-In-Law Does Not Believe Anyone Survived This Insane Duck Penis GIF
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Justin Timberlake Is Very Tired of Playing Xbox, Trades House Arrest for Prison
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Seven Extremely Confusing Steps to Recharging a Man's "Battery"
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How to Seize a Moment Grumpily
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I Have to Start Suing Pirates
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Kate Middleton Having a Midnight Spanking
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Mario Batali Has a Thigh Gap
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Fat-Shaming Actually Leads to Great Deal on Used Mattress
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Tea Party Was Founded as a Rad Metal Song
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Young People Are Consistently Dour, Survey Suggests
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The Week in Tabloids: Katy Perry's Boobs Are No Longer Offering Health Benefits to Part-Timers
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What It's Like to Think Your Lady Detectives Are Slutty Sluts
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Your Cat Is Trying to Sell Ads
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CHART: How Obama and George W. Bush Paintings May Herald a "Cat Period"
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John F. Kennedy's Ghost Wants You to Turn Down an Award for Its Skyrim Voice Cast
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Screw the NSA, Let's All Speculate About Her Barren Womb!
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Captain Planet the Movie Will Make You Happy Every 6 Seconds, Forever
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White Supremacist Finds Out It's Cat Vomit
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Here's Riff Raff Impersonating James Franco Sleeping His Way Into Your Eyeballs
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Can a Veiled Muslim Woman Also Be an Alien Breed
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Ben Bernanke: Fed Is Looking for "Apologetic White Male"
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Microsoft Finally Does Something So Cartoonishly Creepy That We Don't Want to Vote on Sex-Selective Abortions
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Egyptian Government Threatens to Ban Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Rainbows
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Watch as Struggling Whale Can't Get the Recognition He Deserves
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We Lost All Respect for All Sorts of Ass
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Rob Zombie Wants Noisy Skate Park Kids Off His Testicle
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New Airline Seat for Bigger Boobs and God Planning to Use Them
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Bill O'Reilly's Divorce Is So Cute It's Actually Hard To Watch
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Balloon Boy and His Abs Have Come Out as Bisexual
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Little Girls Want to Help the Poor? Give Them an Eating Disorder
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The Book of Jezebel: S Is for Vulva
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Forever21 Celebrates Jesus in Bird Droppings on Car Windshield