Headline Smasher

I think the movie is called "Sloth."

I'd prefer "The Best Booze Beyond Borneo."

So it's true!

Slow news day?

of the Franchise's Decline

So, Nintendo Switch Online is getting a replacement?

Uh, a former "Sesame Street" writer said that though the current showrunners deny it, so this already was news.

I'm one of them. Where's the other eleven?

Tutancarnage?

The beef isn't kosher.

Dumb conspiracy theories ensue.

Power Up Your Ass WITH RENEWABLE ENERGY!

Isn't it supposed to be "Power Up Your Ass"?

Unfortunately, the 9/11 attacks render these moot.

Burning your face to oblivion is a terrible idea.

Peachette, Bowsette, and their derivatives.

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And now I'm thinking about The Weeknd.

I thought he was a girl... Jessica, not the baby.

2017: I'd Fuck a Dragon
Late 2017: I'd Fuck a Planet
2018: I'd Fuck... Everything (Including a Dragon(like Character (and Others) Turned into a Princess))

Read as "Welcome to the Far Left Square"

I'm disproven!

Are you sure you're All Might?

Transformers

As it turns out, it's just Alex Jones who's short-circuited.

THEY'RE TOO DELICIOUS!!!

2017: Four Killed
2018: Man Stabbed to Death
Cause: Suicide Prevention

So, it's either 2031 or 2032 and Trump is dead? Okay. He wouldn't still be President by then.

The Shame!

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Thanks to lots of retweeting, this headline is more popular than every other one on this site!

Yogi Bear.

Seriously. The only word on the study was "Jews."

No more pencil-tickles!

YES!!!!

Well, he was a target of the #MeToo movement...

Mainly because of a sexual abuse uproar.

Also, cake.

...Maduro is no longer president. How would that sound?

Yeah?