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Voted Headlines
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Schools Drop Healthy Lunch Plans After Students Tried to Kill Terrorists With drones
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So This Dick Takes the Cake
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Beyoncé Is Officially Scaring Us
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Your Morning Cry: A Song Just for Fridge Magnets
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Elmo Continues to Haunt
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I Don't Need an Evil Mustache or a Volcano Lair to Piss Off Muppets, Mr. President
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Meet 4 Kenyan Women Who Can't Think for Themselves
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California: Solving Prison Disease Outbreak Will Cause Fathers to Marry Their Sons
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How to Be Charged With Attempted Murder
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This Brilliant 12-Year-Old Mexican Girl Is Slut
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I Admit It: I'm a Tourist Attaction
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Billionaire Investor Blames Boobs, Babies for Lack of Pokémon
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The Week in Tabloids: Demi Moore's Boyfriend Has a Penis!
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The Mostly Sexless Sex Scandal (SFW)
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Man Discovers He Slept Through the Week of April 15th
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Obama May Be in a Blisteringly Weird Short Movie
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"Time" Magazine Is Throwing a Guantanamo-Themed Coachella Party
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About to Go Snowboarding on Mars
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The Harry Potter Behemoth Nears Russia
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Lady Gaga Goes Full Frontal in Weird Yoga Forest
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Online Campaign Draws Attention to Your Cat
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Hipster Urban Farmers Abandoning Hundreds of Fashion Chickens
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Here Is a Barrel of Fun for Everyone but Street Cleaners
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Gwyneth Paltrow Dooms Newborn Daughter to Life With David Hasselhoff
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He Has a Penis!
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Gang of Feral Cats Attacks Woman at Metro Stop
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We Have Been Dead for 24 Hours: report
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Army Releases Photo of Salad
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Monopoly: The Secret to Living a More Fulfilling Life
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Why So Many Lasers, Y'all
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UPDATE: Detroit Files for Divorce
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The Meaning of Life Explained With Bunnies and Dragons
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McDonald's to Offer Same-Sex Nuptials
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Tunisian Prime Minister Resigns After Porn Video Surfaces
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How Texas Just Made Tea-Bagging Uncool
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Commemorating 9/11 on a Horse, NBD
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Slenderman's Take on Apple's Airplay
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We Are Better Than This
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It's Kidnapping: Hospital Takes Custody of Newborn Over Poppy Seed Bagel
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I'd Collect the Hell Out of Me