Headline Smasher

No reason the Major couldn't use a male prosthetic body...

This poem makes no sense.
NO INDOOR VOICE!

That's one way to make it fall down...

I know that very few people are going to get this joke, but: HeRe'S yOuR pIzZa SiR.

Hey son, why won't you have Breast Augmentation for breakfast today? 😂

You don't say.

Go home, Headline Smasher. You're drunk.

It might as well be at this point

Why am I not surprised?

And....?

Obama Azathoth in 2020!

Is that the porn parody

Yeah so?

Without chewing it.

Yes sir. Right this way sir.

So I'm torn between making a Phoenix Wright reference, or making a RWBY reference. Which one should I do?

At least the urn can be.

POCKET SAND!

The Chicago Bulls?

I wish I knew why this made me giggle

How about a vaccine to protect against ghetto behavior? That would stop a lot of so-called "racism."

I have never seen a headline that summerizes my life more

Chris Ray Gun, is that you?

"NEVER ENOUGH"

So Taco Bell ?

"Again?"

I can see why that sequel was less successful

I didn't knew Sonichu birthday cards existed.

Who else first read this as "50% children"?

a brave new world of emoji headlines

I can't wait to see his reaction...

I literally can't.

I want this movie now.

NOTE ON THIS HEADLINE: The way it was saved ruined the original meaning, as there were originally quotation marks around "Sex and the Beast".

Steven Adams no

I don't blame them. I mean, just look at it. It is one of the most high quality signatures I have ever seen.

Not a forecast I'd want.

Ghosts don't make good witnesses in court.

That's asking for an infection

Then things will be quite hairy to be sure.

So commit violence against those you find hateful? Yeah, that's a winner.

75 percent chance they're dead by now

God damnit, it was the only thing I was looking forward to.