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2,194 smashes / 3,874 upvotes / smashed from 5,075 real headlines
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It'll Take FOREVER to Thank All the King's Horses, and All I DID TODAY in Bid to Avoid Watching Light Opera Cheezburger The Blaze
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Rudy Giuliani Asks Huffington Post
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The Labour Party Proposes Dimmer Switch Instead of "Mother" The Daily Mail The Guardian
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Eat Out to Stockpile Electricity The Sun
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Youssoufa Moukoko Prepares to Set It Up His Ar$e Mirror Reason
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Madonna Sues Leicester Garment Workers for Political Gain Alternet
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BIDEN Can Win the War on Vietnam to keep the Statistics Favourable . More Later Alternet Free Republic National Review
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Turn Up Your Tight Back With Open Arms Gizmodo POPSUGAR
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Covid-19's Global Divide: As West Reels, Asia Keeps Virus at Bay Area the Size of Your VPN Business Insider Consciouslifenews
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Scary Moment as Raiders Johnathan Abram Runs Into Early Dilemma BroBible
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With Weakness Among Hispanic Voters, All Demographic Groups Except White Men Trapped New York Times The Blaze
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Boris Johnson Starts His First Stand-Up Special Counsel The A.V. Club
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Tories to Put Children in Miniature Cars Raced Around an AHL Rink During Intermission SBNation
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NBA All-Star Weekend Engineering SBNation
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Pitbull, Please Come to THIS? In Response to Terrorism. More Later SBNation Twitchy
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Notorious Isle of Wight Man Will Not Work With Covid-19 Tests Wired
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Chris Paul's Brilliance Forces a Clippers-Jazz Game 7 Names of 900 People Who Can't Speak English Town 100percentfedup Jezebel SBNation
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Ezekiel Elliott Is Leading the Blind – More Soon SBNation
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Plymouth Half-Marathon Record Smashed by Woman in America WON'T It Be Funny if It's Bernie Sanders About Discrimination 100percentfedup Twitchy
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May Begs Judges to Send Millions of People Saying "Roll Tide" While Getting Arrested SBNation Twitchy Wired
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Hold My Wine: French Ambassador Deletes His Twitter Notifications for President if It's Too Much to Be Visited and Punched. More Soon Jezebel SBNation Twitchy
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What History Has to Be Included in UK's EU Negotiations Talking Points Memo
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KARMA! AG JEFF SESSIONS NOW to Stop a Bad Daal 100percentfedup
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Wasps and Leopards Banned From Being Killed NY Daily News
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There's No End in Fiasco Infowars
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Russia to Be Believed Hello!
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Weinstein Trial Moves Swiftly to Fill Empty Seats Drudge Report
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Trump Signs Ban on Fellatio "a Huge Blow" to Sex Trafficking Ritual BroBible Drudge Report
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Grim Reaper's Skull Found on Amazon Calls God World Heavyweight C**t NewsBusters
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North Dakota Hockey Team Playing With Dolls! Egotastic USA Today
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Newspapers Struggle With Endometriosis ExtraTV.com
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NYC, Seattle and Portland Ready to Ensure Trump Never Transmits Covid Again NY Daily News
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Beth Ditto Is Feeling Self-Defensive and Fights Back at Least Two Troughs Apart. More Soon New York Times
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How to Say What Virus? New York Times
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GCHQ Replaced by Facebook Quizzes. More Soon
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Panicked Parents Pick Up Some Replacement Marbles Los Angeles Times
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Supreme Court Order to Build Extension to Kent to Make Your Living Room Complete BroBible Business Insider Talking Points Memo Wonkette
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Trumps Insists He Is Gay CNN
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Jacob Rees-Mogg Claims Sixth Sense – I Told You to Take 10% Pay Cut
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Under Colour of COVID Death 21stcenturywire