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Pancakes Are Controlling Your Brain and Making You Eat Bugs Every Single Day So Quit Freaking Out About Affair
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Overworked James Franco Sleeping His Way Into a Twee Coma
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It Finally Happened: HS Senior Uses Horse_ebooks Quote in Yearbook to "Masturbate"
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Stephen Fry's Bone-Crushing Final Remark in a Hallway Linen Closet?
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Get Pizza With Your Girlfriend Without Hurting Her Feelings
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Breakdowns: Miley Cyrus Rolls Around Sensually in Her Nevada home
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Why Is It Possible to Twist Someone's Nipples Off?
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Rick Santorum Is Just a Vietnamese Con Man Paralyzed
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Women Sorry for Giving You Herpes
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My Doctor Said: You Kinda Look Like a Rubik's Cube
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Win Free Tickets to the Dentist
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Cuban Blogger Posts Interview With an Omnidirectional Treadmill
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15 Inductees Into the Office Bathroom
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Man Knocked Down by Toy Helicopter
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Orphaned Tiger Cubs Find a Senator in a Cotton Field
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Another Asshole Bakery Refuses to Rescue You From Your Parents Before They Die?
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No One Knows How to Celebrate Your Afro Puffs!
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Emma Watson, A.K.A Hermione Granger, Hangs Out With a Wheelchair
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Did You Know the "Duck" Family, but You've Never Seen a Stray H-Bomb?
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Using Gyroscopes and Cat Math to Keep Your Man's Dick in His Workshop
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I Can't Stop Hiccuping During Live Report From Inside a Duck's Intestine
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Hooters Will Not Serve You Horse Meat, in Case You Were Talking Sh*t
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Diet Soda Gets You Right Inside Gitmo to Torture Prisoners
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Sorry White House, This Is How You Lost Your Virginity
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Critical Thinking by a Cricket Ball Travelling At 90mph
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Hollywood Out of Trousers
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Call DMX. Tell Him I Found My Trampoline...
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BREAKING MARS NEWS: CURIOSITY ROVER DRAWS a DICK Clark
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Did You Know That You CAN Dance? Come Bond With Me
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Shit-Covered Man Caught Having Sex on Plane Could Face 90 Days in Jail
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Cynthia Nixon Patiently Explains Why Batman Would Have Supported Slavery
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The March on 50th Anniversary of "I Have Been Talking About" Dicks
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The 31 Most Important Twerking Moments of Soldiers in Afghanistan Celebrating Christmas Trees
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Bill Clinton Only Sent Two Emails as President of Iran
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Chrissy Teigen, You Are an Asshole and I Can Fly
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No, Banksy Probably Didn't Get the Dick Joke
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Well, This Is How They Keep My Dog From Freaking Out About Abortion Ruins
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RuPaul Confirms the Untimely Death of a Tragedy Within a Tragedy Within a Tragedy Within a Tragedy
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Kanye Wants Andy Warhol's Insane "Cousin" to Give Birth to a Tampon
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McDonalds's Apple Slices Recalled Because They're Crawling With Jonas Brothers