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Voted Headlines
112
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Police Forcefully Yank One-Year-Old Baby From Its Beef Supply
85
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Time to Take a Whole Heap of Alien Ass in the Fields
158
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Robots Are Replacing Humans in Cemeteries
108
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Mom! Dad! Let Me Introduce Myself
241
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Sorry Girls... I Like Grilled Cheese
69
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Stolen Picasso Painting Found in Background of NBA Trading Card
180
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Ebola Returns as a Prank
347
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Dolphin Found Shot Dead in "Apparent Suicide"
118
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5-Year-Old Dies Tragically in Mom's Arms After Saying "I Love White People"
170
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REMEMBER Marbles? They're Back, in a Bag
1187
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Report: The U.S. Ends
129
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Tsunami Triggered by MEME
176
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Donald Trump Moves to Kill Himself
464
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I'm a Stupid Idiot
189
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TIME for a Potato—but Why?
244
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Tempted to Eat More Garbage
135
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Where Is God When Your Chinchilla Eats Your Homework
135
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I Will Be the Worst Christmas Present
214
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Hillary Clinton Still Getting DLC After Six Years
257
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Can You Be Quiet
53
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Are Humans Actually Supposed to Like My Ding Ding
117
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Russian Roulette With Your Kids How to Make Your Roommates Uncomfortable
361
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Think Twice Before Putting Lemon Wedges in Your Eyes
100
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Video: Obama Calls Trump a "weird Man" for His Birthday
532
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Twitter Has Finally Made It Worse
223
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This Is the 10th Anniversary of the Sun
326
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Would Human Extinction Be a Good Idea
146
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Alexa Will Be Fun, They Said. F**ker Shit in My Rice Cooker
169
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British Banknotes Must Feature an Ethnic Slur
171
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Theresa May Not Have to Sacrifice a Goat
246
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Thomas the Tank Engine Is Finally Coming Out
258
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18 Romantic Date-Night Ideas That Don't Harm Civilians
89
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Santa Is Here to Get Him Impeached
90
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Trump Says He's a Cat Now
200
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Americans Prefer to Remain Ignorant
472
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You Might Be You
359
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Pokemon: Let's Go Somewhere Else
272
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Police Have Found a Slug
81
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China to Avoid Human Interaction
108
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"Robosexuality" on Rise as Other Crime Declines: NYPD Dogs Are Being Blamed