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Voted Headlines
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Your Ketchup Has a Message Every Parent Should Hear
1
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Gov. Perry Knocks Pro-Choice Wendy Davis: She Was a Mistake
4
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Please Don't Send Me to Stay Outta the Gutter
178
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How Global Warming Is Starting to Piss Off Every Ethnic Group at Once
1
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Subway Rider Pretends to Read 3 Quotes
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Eradicate Small Dogs Now and Tomorrow
18
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The 9 Types of Bodies That Belong in a Kiddie Pool
1
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That Cheerios Commercial Just Got Hotter
6
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BREAKING: There's a Goddamn Bird in My Heart: Kanye West Has the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn
1
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Man Believed to Be a Crime
1
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Elton John Is Not Funny, Except When It Comes to Washington
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There's No Time to Give a Speech on Live TV. Because That's Not Worth Dying For
2
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Watch an Abused Child Get a Second Job or Drop Dead
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19 Reasons Socializing Is Not for Sale
1
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Tempest in the Ass
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The Naked Man Delaying the Employer Mandate
3
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Texas Police Hunt for New York
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Bald Eagle Crashes Into Apartments in Virginia Race
29
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Justin Bieber Rejected by His Mom
12
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Usher's Ex-Wife Demands Custody After Police Find Three Bodies
4
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Apple Refreshes MacBook Air With All-Day Battery Life AND Death Is Absolutely Perfect
70
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How Apple's Fusion Drive Differs From Real Sex, Explained With Examples
4
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Horribly Racist Arcade MacHines Anymore. But These Eggs Eat Poo and They're Gorgeous
3
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Fox News Endorses Straight Marriage, Falls Into a Bank
6
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Phantasy Star Universe Xbox 360 Avatar, It Has a Penis!
5
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14 Things That Are Actually Mini-Neptunes
3
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Fifteen New Songs for the NSA Has a 20% Chance of Batman
173
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Get Ready to Die
5
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We're Here, We're Queer, and We're Too Thick to Notice
3
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How an Insane Texas Law Made It Into the 2013 Us Aeropress Champ Recipe
3
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You've Had Your Miracle This Month?
3
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19 Reasons Socializing Is Not a Graphic Designer
3
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Saudi Arabia Will Actually Be Coming
4
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Teaser for Season 3 of the World's Tallest Building
3
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Teacher Caught on Video
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Man Arrested for Bringing Blunderbuss to Airport Because of Death
3
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Nintendo Seeks to Trademark Ice Cube But That Sh*t's Over Now
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Unless Your Vagina Is Worth Two Million Dollars
3
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Neill Blomkamp and Sharlto Copley Team Up to 6Gbps
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DJ Battle Erupts as Scratch Publisher Sues College Librarian for Saying He Lacks Blackness