Recent Comments

China to Be Renamed Jennifer Hagan

blastinus

The United States is heavily in debt to Jennifer Hagan.

ranjello

Comma included.

My Mouth Is Too Soft…Kids Don't Wanna Be Pushed [VIDEO] Education Showcase FAIL

elchaposr

this sounds illegal

How to Have Children, Without Regrets

velocityvsheadlines

theres a way?

Americans Have a Gun

drkelexo

just the one

Tennessee Bus Driver Headed to WWE?

rollersnake

TBD! TBD!

How to Avoid Squirrels

ranjello

SQUIRREL!

Opinion: I Played for Soccer Club

ranjello

That's a fact.

Zodiacs Ranked by the Balls

rollersnake

Is #1 Taurus because of size or Gemini because there are four of them?

How the Iconic God of War Crimes May Get Amnesty

ranjello

Are we talking about this iconic headline?
https://headlinesmasher.com/364474

Why "Rise of Skywalker" Could Be Turned Into Mosque Massacre

velocityvsheadlines

Wait what

Maybe You Should Stop Believing

rollersnake

...you damn kids!

Human Speech Sounds Like Petting a Marshmallow

quijotesca

It's like a robot literally typed this

She Was Handed a Speeding Ticket After Giving Birth to a Pet

rollersnake

"Do you have any idea how fast y— umm, uhhhhhhh, I'll wait."

Eight-Year-Old Boy Hid Knives Near Home to Enjoy West Coast Oysters

rollersnake

Ah, shucks.

Just Say No! No I Caaaaaan't!!!

ranjello

You Just Said It! I Did Noooooooooooooot!

First They Eat You!

rollersnake

And I did not speak up, because I was eaten.

British Airways Announces Its Shortest Flight Yet -- Just in Time for Children With Cancer

cpiece

...good lord!

Three Naked Women Stand Outside Rest Stop Ends in High-Speed Chase

velocityvsheadlines

the fact that this is the actual headline is funny enough

Chelsea Handler Admits She's Very Sexually Attracted to Magnets

ranjello

She has a bipolar libido.

Roughly Half the Electorate Views Christian Nationalism as a Black Hole

quijotesca

Sure, why not?

Every Bunny Doesn't Want to Legalize Prostitution

quijotesca

Yeah, that's an offensive stereotype

Oops... Forgot We Were Cyborgs

quijotesca

OOPS!

In Australia to Make Ice Cream Serving Sexy

clapsnap

I'll pass thank you.

NASA Is About to Make a Crater

quijotesca

It's about time!

Dog Lies Down in Mexico

nosgoroth

Stop the presses

Betsy DeVos Wants to Sleep In. So What? Gas Tank Explosion

sirbacon

That escalated quickly.

Are You Reading This Because the Algorithms Have Already Won

countershadowform

I think so, yes.

Ladies: Did You Become a Flamingo

misericordia

Yes.

Rule 34: Minecraft Hunger

velocityvsheadlines

THAT SHOULDNT BE A THING

The CW Pulls the Plug on A.I. Ethics Council

velocityvsheadlines

this makes to much sense

Facebook Is Down, Twitter Becomes a Hot Tub and a Treadmill

quijotesca

Yaaay!

America Could Be in Jail Cell, Sheriff Says

quijotesca

The bars are in your head!

Elizabeth Warren Proposes Breaking Up With a Shark, Gets a Warm Towel to Snuggle With?

quijotesca

Sure?

Cat Won't Stand for Parliament

prytonis

This cat won't stand for anything.

Suicide Squad Reboot Needs a National Emergency ALERT

quijotesca

OUCH

Pac-Man, "Space Invaders" and Classic Video Games Are Producing Serious Addicts

quijotesca

What is this, the 80s?

Ric Flair's Surprise 70th Birthday Party Includes 1.5 Million Live Bats

misericordia

Now that’s a party!

Snake on a Roll

rollersnake

...!

Legalizing Marijuana, With a Shotgun

rollersnake

BLUNT FORCE, starring Kal Penn, in theaters 4/20