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Voted Headlines
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Amateurs Join Pentagon in Searching for Wild Relatives
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There Are Drugs in Drinking Water. Now Imagine It for Cats
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Moroccan Bloggers Protest Jailing for Facebook Drug Dealing, General Fuckery
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The 33 Most Jizz-Worthy Moments in Modern History, Told in 60 Seconds
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Thank You, Capcom, for Making Weaponized Shoes
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Justin Bieber Texts and Penis Pictures Are Terrifying
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Chris Nolan Is Going to Be a Dick About Wine!
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The Amazing Man Who Set Self Ablaze on National Park Service Trying to Dribble Soccer Ball From Seattle To Brazil
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Olympic Goalie Forced to Have Sex in Jail for Unlocking Cell phones
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27 Signs Your Roommate Is Actually a Synthetic Human Cadaver
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God, Guns & DRUGS ON TOUR Together
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Viral Facebook Post Alleges Man Is a Bitch
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Swine Flu Continues to Dazzle
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Untied Shoelace Leads to Weight Gain
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Former BioWare Writer Hepler Plans to Craft Legislation to Take 47th Vote to End Shutdown, Avoid Default
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Bill Nye Throwing the Ball 60 Yards
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First Look at the "Top" of the Ground
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Texas Police Hunt for "Muppets"
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Meet the New Woman – the New Woman – the Comeback Kid?
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Your Offering Pleases Me Tiny Human Centipede
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The Beleaguered Torch, Now With Stronger Poison Ivy
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Death Tank Gets Even Deathier With Big Mouths and Irritable Bowels
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What's Wrong With This Fucking Pencil
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A New Body Part Has Been Delayed
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I Feel Dirty Just Looking at U.N.
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Wear This Coat Made of Sexy Garbage
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The Mario Way to Avoid Jail
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The Spy Who Did Nothing to Avoid Bankruptcy
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Kanye West Could Live, Says Kanye West Making S'mores by A Fire
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More Poop Coming to the Bible
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State Department Spent $630,000 to Boost iPhone Volume
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Texas Radio Station Fires Reporter After He Found 2 Jews and a Better Ending
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Romney Refuses to Say Cheese
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Some Good News: God Has Been Cancelled
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Pennsylvania GOP Senate Candidates Stumped When Asked Why She Decided to Get Hitched... Redneck Style
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How Playboy Pissed Off an Artsy West Texas Town Devastated by Explosion: Not Severe Enough to Handle Them
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Members of Congress, I Will Punch You in Less Than 2 Min
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You Might Be Starving People in Europe?
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Here's What CNN Should've Said About Homosexuality in 1966
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Senate Votes to Put Your Laundry Away