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Headline Smasher

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Bored Teen Tired of People
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Get Ready for Beyonce's Jelly
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Nirvana in the Balls
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Police Might Have Made Big Mistake That Leads to Great Deal on Student Loans
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Friday Talking Points -- Advice for the Health-Conscious Lazy Ass
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Arizona High School Suspends a Girl on Live TV
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Dear World: You're Not Going Anywhere
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Houston Oncologist Accused of Death
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Meet the Romney Playbook for the Confused Pregnant Ladies
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Your Sheets Are Filthy. Here's Why We're Grateful
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John Kerry Says He Is Doing a Full Moon, Too
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DMX Bursting Into Song on Dr. Phil Clarifies: He Was Adopted
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Thousands Feared Dead After Pair of Crushing Defeats in Baseball
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This Hotline Gives You Prizes for Finishing Your Food
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Woman Shows Up Alive 13 Days After Birth
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Sorry Rush, Nixon Spied on Peaceful Muslims
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This 22-Year-Old Just Landed $25 Million for Allegedly Raping 4-Year-Old Boy in Apartment Complex
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Michael Kors: Um, Not Really Worth It
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Kristen Stewart Is Going to End Mall Siege
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Alvin Ailey, the Obamas Are My Only Family
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Deion Sanders Fired From "the Simpsons" Rumored to Die
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Kristen Stewart Is Going to Take Etiquette Classes After Fans Twitter Threats
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Ten Minutes of Slow Motion
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The Reason Rush Limbaugh Talked About This PS4 Launch Game
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UK Lunch Lady Fired for Her Birthday?
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This Infographic Would Make Me Want to Hug a Nun and Cry
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Hillary Clinton and President Obama Must Speak the Word Derp
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New 50 Cent Audition Tape for American Gangster Is My Baby Daddy
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"This Guy Fucked Me": Why Roger Ailes and Fox News Blames Gas Prices
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Republicans Eating Themselves Amid Efforts to Defund Obamacare, Keep Gov't Running
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The Horrible Truth of Eating Nothing but Words
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Intruder Ends Up Arrested
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Holy SHIT- This Bear Is Riding a Candy-Colored Dystopian Water Park
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SCIENCE Has Been Announced
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Hello Kitty Makes World's Cutest Puppy Dog
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Presumably, Someone in S.F. Wants You to Do Him a Favor
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The Debt Ceiling and Budget Battles Are Just as Hard as the Bureau: XCOM Declassified
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Overheard on CNN.Com: Being a Slimy Dirtbag Doesn't Equal Being a Tall Girl
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Gwyneth Paltrow Named World's Most Polite Racist
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Universal Orlando Is Building a Recreation of the Hottest Guys Ever Arrested