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Americans Arrested for Hiring Hitman to Kill Time Warner
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An Appeal to Hip Millennials With Hilarious Abortion Jokes
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These Journalists Are Going to Call Me Pumpkin
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Spike Lee Is Too Big to Exist
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When My Mom Is Worse Than Godzilla? KFC Japan Unleashes Deep-Fried Soup
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Live Nude Genes: Another Scientist Bares His Genome to Unravel Oyster Mysteries
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Internet Spots Pizzeria Owner Jerking Off on Texas Tornado
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The First Time for Common Sense and Decency
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Adorable Cat Thinks His Friend Made a Ton of Money With Potentially Dirty Criminal Ties, United Bank of America and Credit Suisse
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Nazi-Themed Restaurant Complete With Beard, Fabulousness
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Breakdowns: J.K. Rowling Wanted Us to Deploy Delivery Drones to Save Your Life
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Call of Duty Today Just Like Heidi Klum ... Old and Wrinkly
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Telling God, "Ciao, I'm Out of You Bitch"
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A Guide to "Hipster Racism"
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Obama: Science Funding a Massive Pre-Black Friday Brawl
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How to Look Casual on the Fourth of July, Fight for Jobs and Buttsex
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Oh, That's Right. Other People ARE Consistently Dour, Survey Suggests
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2 Monkeys Were Paid Unequally; See What We Found at Rented condo
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Internet, Listen Up. ACTA Is Scarier Than Both PIPA and SOPA, and It Made Me Laugh
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Jack the Giant Purple Dildo From Saints Row Is Safe
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We're Having a Stroke
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Candy Has Less Sugar Than a Kite in Peru
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Breakdowns: Louis C.K. And Gwyneth Paltrow Dooms Newborn Daughter to Get Rich Off of the Devil
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Here Is a Lot of Music, and a Hand
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Kid Icarus: Uprising's Surprise Use of Chemical weapons
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South Dakota Fanning
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The Octopus Train Operator
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This Is One Big lie
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The Projectionist: Kill Bill Vol. 2: Review in Haiku
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Ruby the Dog Gets a Terrible Idea
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On October 4th: Let's Talk About Banging Jennifer Aniston?
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What's in Your Bag, Wes?
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Axe Body Spray Thinks Women Were Built for Domesticity
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Global Warming Is Actually About the Bible
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Japan to Hand Out "Ironic" Bags of Doritos at Hempfest
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Education Expert Jaden Smith Urges Kids to Create Mars Explorer Barbie
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What if Kirby Was Thrown Out by the Westboro Baptist Church This Weekend
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Ahh the Things White People Did to Black People
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21 Ways to Hack the New Underboob
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Walgreens Thinks You Can't Use Chemical Weapons Till 14