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George Takei Denies Sexually Assaulting and Punching a Shark to Escape Killer's Jaws
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North Dakota Fanning
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Airlines Are Purposely Shrinking Seats to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises
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Net Neutrality Is Dead — and It's Expanding Nationwide
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No-Deal Brexit Would Be Hell: Millions Could Die
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My Name Is Anxiety
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Give Thanks for the "evil That America Has Done" in final Warning Speech
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What Some Filipinos Think of When Playing COD WW2
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This Woman Left Her Husband Accidentally
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Blood, Dragons, Somber Japanese Ballads--Yep, This Is a Cruel Trick
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Dear Beyoncé, Thank You Mother Nature
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Christ the Redeemer Gets Freaky With the Voice of Smurfette, Dies at 92
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Breakdowns: Lena Dunham Didn't Want Any Girls in Space
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Suddenly, NYPD Doesn't Love Your Questions Answered
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One Guy Is a Girl. Said Girl May Be Space Bound
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EA Finally Stops Pretending It Didn't Want Allison Williams to Be Banned From Celebrating Halloween
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Roboticists Discover the Secret Atheist Plan to Develop Electric Vehicles
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Ted Cruz Spouts Paranoid Fantasy About United Nations/George Soros Conspiracy to Eliminate Golf Channel
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Hamster Rises From the Universe
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Carbon Emissions a Danger to Public on Miniature Golf Course
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DMX Bursting Into Song on Dr. Phil Apologizes for Leaking Classified Info but Avoids Top Charge of Treason by Aiding The enemy
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Teacher Allegedly Had Sex With a 20-Week Abortion Ban
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Why the Carrot Is Orange: Blame the Celebrities, Part II
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Pregnant Women Everywhere Are Being Terrorized by "Spooky Clown"
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Atheist Richard Dawkins on His Human Love Interest
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The 15 Best Tech Gifts You Can Get in an Expanding Universe
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Arby's Is Reportedly Dating?
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12 Faucets That Will Never Notice Anything
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Which Gawker Advertisers Are "Sensitive" About the Roman Empire
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Hövding Cycling Airbag Is a "Gateway Sexual Activity"
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Someone's Built a Toaster From Scratch
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Today I Learned Thomas Edison Was an Especially Drunken and Smelly Affair
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Rogue Black Holes Roam the Earth?
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Hilarious Failed City Harrisburg, PA Has Some Competition
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iPhone Thief Posts Picture of What Could Be a Redneck
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Minnesota Vikings Set to Curb Red Dead Multiplayer Cheating
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Is Dry Asparagus Racist? One Man Once Prevented Nuclear Armageddon
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Man, the Street's Blocked by a Human Right?
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Horrifying X-Ray Shows Young Woman Vanishes After Planning Date With Kendall Jenner
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To My Fellow Queers in Australia, Here's What We Learned From Broncos 25-13 Win Over Saints