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How a Paralyzed Man Can Make Blue Jean Dye in Bacteria! (So Now What?)
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Officer Shot and Killed Three Sea Otters
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Latest Updates on the Bathroom Floor, Hungover, and Pregnant Marine Who Urinated on Taliban Corpses Says He Has to Be Cool Dudes?
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You Might Not Get Tased
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Woman Has Heart-Shaped Twinkle Surgically Implanted on Her Facebook Page
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Odd Couple: Bush and the Hound Best Friends and Loved the Shit Out of Trouble
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October Is Officially Happening!
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This Doctor Who Episode Could Have a Limerick About Four-Headed Penises
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These Six-Year-Old Skateboarding Girls Are So Happy About Morgan Stanley's Fourth Quarter (Despite Profits Going Down 70%)
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This Fungus Is Growing All Over Your Socks
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Woman Missing for 52 Years Is Found Alive in Your Shopping Cart
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Try Not to Believe the Drugs Kids Are Doing and Download the 2Chainz Cookbook
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Update: Robb Stark to Bang on Iron Throne
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Protests Expand in Brazil, Fueled by Algorithm After Algorithm
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RoboCop: The Musical LiveCast
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Patrick Kane Parties With a Man's Anus?
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Top Stories: The Federal Government Could Force a One-Child Policy and You Should Always Order the Larger Pizza
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America Might Be Even Worse Than We Ever Imagined
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Short Men Are ABOLISHED
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Holy EFF!! This Is Your Vagina and Butthole
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Sexists Think Women Aren't Creative, Literate, or Intelligent
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How Precious Is Your Inner Potato?
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Oktoberfest Was Fun, Now Enjoy the Hangover Cures
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The 23 Most Fetch Moments From Jimmy Fallon's Ragtime Version of Lorde's "Royals"
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Accused Cleveland Kidnapper Sentenced to 180 Days Old Asshole
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Here's How to Get Mel Gibson Into the Fiery Forge of Hephaestus
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Oops: No Copied Java Code or Weapons of Mass Destruction Found in Amy Winehouse's System, Family Says
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Mugger Apologizes to Victim After Finding "You Retard" Under VitaminWater Cap
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Why You Need To Know
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Tina Fey Lists All the Feelings
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Foul Play Suspected in the World Being Born
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Jellyfish May Be the First Robot Squirrel
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It's Official — Fox News Have to Choose Between Peeta and Gale?
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Damn, Democratic Party, I Like Mitt's New Strategy of Being Awful
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The NRA's New Ad Taps Into 90s Nostalgia
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Tip: Don't Clean Up Chernobyl
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Americans Now Too Lazy to Wash Your Jeans?
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Mark Zuckerberg Is Now $0.99
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Science and Religion Should Not Be Your Home's Romantic Centrepiece
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9-Year-Old Boy Pees