Headline Smasher

I'm pretty sure there were less fucked-up ways to find floral catalogs.

Best insult ever.

E.T. WRITE HEADLINE!

That takes a lot of balls to pull off.

The other 75% being totally insane.

Fascists won't let me do whatever I want!

I don't think you'd be able to feel anything at all on your own funeral.

Were they mad at how Deathly Hallows ended?

The entire word if you ask me.

The way we spell our words with fewer U's, obviously.

Walter White should've just opened an Italian restaurant instead.

I hear Linux is open...

Crime-fighting dogs? I must be on heroin!

It certainly is.

How did you know that!?

That gives me an idea for an erotic novel...

Too many tacos, obviously.

Wait a few thousand years.

Men too.

This would make for a great insult.

The real iPhone 7's aren't much better, honestly.

Millennials in a nutshell.

That sounds like some kind of euphemism.

Go robot dinosaurs!

Egg Beaters?

You can leave impressions on the couch if you sit there long enough.

The Trans-Pacific Railroad is already up and running!?

I don't think that's what he was good at...

The bodies of all the members of the Heaven's Gate suicide cult were all discovered with $5.75 in their pockets. $5 was the fine for vagrancy, and the 75 cents could be used to make three phone calls.

My teeth would disagree.

I think H.P. Lovecraft wrote a book about this.

Is this his new movie?

All of the good ones!

Yes, you are.

Not according to Descartes.

It's a suppository!

So Kidz Bop was a covert way to restart the MKUltra program all over again?

I'd believe that.

Thanks, Shyamalan.

I can actually see this happening tbh

*rows away*