Headline Smasher

I would too if I had been Assigned Cop At Birth

That's right. The human sex.

Indeed, as I awoke from uneasy dreams I found myself transformed into one in my bed this morning.

This is my kind of bipartisanship

They were overcharged by Amazon Web Services. Who among us

Underrated

Yes please

We didn't start the fire. He did!

"Bigger slump and bigger wars and a smaller recovery"
- Stereolab

Libertarianism

Nobody wants to work high anymore

Typical Democrats

Delightfully devilish, Seymour

Unironically true

Even in death, he's never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

Pelosi's latest fundraising email is a banger

Sort of. Nations are socially constructed, but that doesn't mean "not real"; they are what Émile Durkheim called "social facts."

Looks like I picked the wrong board meeting to continue sniffing glue

Every 55-year-old is a mother's child

Which one?

The Aristocrats!

Don't be so precious, Helen of Troy

Fun fact: if your grave doesn't say RIP on it you are automatically drafted into the giraffe zombie war

We can't have presidents committing erection fraud NOW CAN WE

Love the magic realism vibes here

Damn, yeah, I mean have you LOOKED at Hell's case numbers? Can't believe Satan would call workers back to the office now.

*liberal voice* Police abolition? Ha! How's that working out in heaven?

Finally, they're taking on the shitlibs

Speak for yourself

That is so metal, dude

The polls, Mr. President... they look ruff

underrated

inshallah

overconsumption is one cause, yes

defund and abolish the police

that's just facts

capitalism ruins everything

Andreas Malm's latest

Underrated. Wish I could double-upvote these really good ones.

Still is, but he was, too