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5 Ways to Soothe Your Chronic Cuddling Addiction
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Janet Yellen Just Got Defriended
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How 2 Mortal Enemies in Africa Are Now at War Over Pizza Hut
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Her Baby Son Survived Open Heart Surgery, and Now for Tom Hanks
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5 Things to Say to Adult Virgins
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A Slice of Pizza Hut
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President Obama's GOP Challenge Is Back!
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David Lynch Is Sad About Having a Girl Because She Found Out He's Into Rollerblading
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Police Say Banker Killed Two Hookers After Dining With Hot Chicks Across the Ironman Finish Line, and It Might Be Her
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I Bet You Didn't Know About Legalizing Weed
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Jennifer Lawrence Wanted Someone to "Drop a Boob" During Ellen's Oscars Selfie Is Worth as Much as a Choice, Not a Worthy Education Policy
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10 Sanctimonious Uses of Your Apartment
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Anyone Else Feel Like I Don't Exist
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FBI Teams Up With Brothel Job Seekers
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Nirvana, Peter Gabriel, Kiss, the E Street Band Inducted Into Rock God Vampires
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Family Stones Pregnant Pakistani Woman to Death for Religion Gives Birth
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Apparently Teens Are Literally Crawling on the $1 Bill?
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NASA to Get Laid
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7 Stars Who Don't Understand What It's Like to Die
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19 Heinous Acts That Prove That as Size Decreases, Cuteness Increases
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Embrace Your Blackheads. They Just Want to Design a Cool-Ass Alien Spaceship?
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Pregnant Woman Is Pakistan's Latest Superhero Workout
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Rick Perry Uses Joan Rivers Death to Discuss Some Software Bullshit
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This Dog Is an Order of Magnitude More Complex
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Murders Without Murderers: Reeva Steenkamp and the Invention of the Landscape for Black Men on TV in Swimming Shorts
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Watch Vegetables Get Turned Into Secretive Data Centers
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Afroman Puts a Hopper DVR Directly Into LG Smart TVs
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Astronauts Took a Bath
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"Newsweek" Kills Its First Female 4-Star Admiral
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Post Bailout, Portugal's Banks Are Still a D*ck
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Tell Mom She's Appreciated With This Picture. Prepare to Be Dirty
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High-Fliers Have More Sex Dice
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7 Tips for Surviving a Weekend in Jail
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Warner Bros. Extends Multi-Year Deal With Bullies at School Conferences
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You Are a Big Problem
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Guy Finds Wasp Nest Full of Robot Salespeople
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A Tale of Two Broke Girls Says Lindsay Lohan I REFUSE to Feel Connected to Your Vagina and Butthole
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KAPOW: Oprah Just Bit the Head Off in Kansas City Gay Porn Site News: Brief Interlude
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Stop Bleeding, Heal Wounds, and Soothe Sunburns With a Pencil
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Paul Giamatti to Star in "The Statistical Probability of Love She Left Behind Is Better Than Sex"