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Voted Headlines
108
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Bears Have Figured Out How to Talk to Cops: reports
97
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Tired Duckling Trying to Follow the Higgs Boson Stuff
100
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Fingering Yourself at the Sight of Cats Giving High Fives Will Make You Cry
110
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Patriarchy Is Dead at 87
21
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Miley Cyrus Spotted Snorting Coke Zero
257
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Bill Nye the Science Guy Needs a Nap Time Cuddle
19
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Jaden Smith, 15, Longs to Be Holocaust Revisionist
44
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Why Underemployment May Be a Cube
202
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Swedish Police Searching for the World's Fluffiest Bunny
103
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They Said Draw Something. You Drew 11 Billion People on Welfare
187
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We Interrupt Your 21st Century to Bring Down Global Capitalism With Costumes and Puppets
50
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Eradicate Small Dogs Now and Save the Planet!
57
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Good Luck Trying to Get Divorced
117
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Minecraft for Xbox Live Is More Terrifying Than We Ever Imagined
76
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Handful of Kanye's Butt Plugs
108
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Thanks Nordstrom, Really Needed New Demonic Creatures in My Car Stereo
156
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Great Movies, as Seen Through a Submarine Periscope
6
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Let's Use Puppies to Analyze the World's Scariest Military Troops
58
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New Theory: Universe Didn't Start With Deep Personal Monologues
237
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My Friend Clint Just Got Denied Planetary Status AGAIN
23
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DNA Proves Blonde Dublin Girl Is Slut
431
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The Other Day My Dog Decided to Start Talking About Dicks
6
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Rihanna Sues Topshop for Selling African Slaves
199
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Obama Changes His Name to "Tyrannosaurus Rex"
6
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At Wal-Mart, How the Hell Are There So Many Jews
253
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Federal Government to Sell Magic, Potions, Curses
8
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U.S. To Reopen Case of the Mondays
281
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Kids Are Awesome. Music Is Awesome. Now Give Me Weasel Testicles
97
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Mark Wahlberg Loses His Shit After Finding Cheese on His White Board
136
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We Have Two Arms and Two Legs
224
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Homophobes Offended by Intellectuals
113
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Law Doesn't Make Sense
123
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White House to Give Up Already
95
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Old, Masturbating McDonald's Customer Tried to Give Speech on Senate Floor
128
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Mitt Romney: Magic Man Who Knew About Cornbread
118
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Pick-Up Artist Donald Trump Dabbles in Necromancy
63
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Tylenol Found to Contain Horse Meat
79
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England Prepared to Nuke Kelly Clarkson for Buying an Expensive Belt
2
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Gunman Arrested and Jailed for Overdue Library Book
159
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Teens Steal Credit Card, Use It Wisely