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2,190 smashes / 3,869 upvotes / smashed from 5,272 real headlines
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All Dads to Be Able to Hit Parts of Your Comfort Zone Elite Daily HelloGiggles The Telegraph ZergNet
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WW3 Pencilled in for Beer O'Clock Cheezburger
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One 20-Year-Old Man Has Gone Tits Up. More Soon USA Today
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Hooters Girl's Take on Role of Apu Fox News
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Impotent Men and Dogs in Nature I-d
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Election Was Far From Reality Business Insider
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Could a Passenger Get Sucked Out of Moving Car to Escape the Shooting on His Hans Business Insider Fox News The Guardian People
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The Man Who Stole Teddy Bear From "Substandard Zoo" Huffington Post Vice
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China's Tiangong-1 Space Lab Could Hit UK in Late Night Takeover Fox News MTV The Telegraph
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RuPaul's Drag Race: RuPaul's Drag Race Brings Gender Theory Out of Your Kitchen Knife Crime Epidemic Boing Boing Elite Daily Huffington Post Infowars New York Times The Independent
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Drama Teacher's Career Over After Failure to Laugh or Cry BuzzFeed
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DMX's Lawyer Wants Rapper's Music to Be Introduced in Bid to Deport African Asylum Seekers The Guardian Spin The Telegraph
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David Blaine to Take Over Paganism Vice
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A Baby Boy Born in Britain. More Soon 9gag The Telegraph
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Bob Dylan Launches New Condom for Drug Mules Pitchfork
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Don't Worry, There Are No Rules in West Virginia for Tax Evasion 21stcenturywire Fox News Pitchfork
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Play-Offs Is the Best Thing to Happen on Significant Dates Business Insider Elite Daily Sploid The Telegraph
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Spanish Scientists Cross Man With Dementia
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Jarvis Cocker in Protest Suicide Blast Kills Dozens at Voter Registration Center in Kabul CNN Free Republic
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Won't Pass, Won't Work, Likely to Lead International Conflict Resolution Elite Daily Thedailysheeple
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Government Chief Scientist Confirms Source of Neighbor Complaints CNN
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After All the Reasons Russia Claims It Would Be DEAD Goats 9gag Cheezburger Fox News Mirror
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Astronaut's DNA No Longer Has to Carry Down the Clippers 101-96 Los Angeles Times Mirror
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Professor Hawking Mostly Remembered for Internet Memes if You're Splitting Expenses With Your Pet? 9gag Elite Daily The Guardian
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Norovirus "the Only Sovereign State" Breitbart
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Topless Zayn Malik's Disgusting Habit as He Threatens Suicide With Knife Crime 9gag Mirror
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The Untold History of the Oscars 2018 Briefing: "The Shape of Mogg" – Jacob Reveals Secret Crush on Summerland Co-Star New York Times Polygon ZergNet
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Send in the BMW Police Fear Was Laced With Nerve Agent Source From Ketchup. More Soon Mirror NPR
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Illinois (!) Got a Really Good at Super Smash Bros. Switch Sales 9gag GameSpot N4G SBNation
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Prime Members Can Rent a Bunch of "fat Assholes" The A.V. Club
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Welcome to Die With Dignity Mirror
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Trump Could Play Third Base Saturday for Royals Invite CNN USA Today
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👉 Local Mexican Restaurant Used to Develop in California, Trump Attacks the UK's Youngest Soldiers Unable The Guardian Los Angeles Times New York Times Upworthy
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Journalists Fleeing for Their Wedding Bells? Drudge Report The Telegraph
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What Kevin De León Said to Be Shirtless Model, I've Got Things Lined Up! CNN TMZ
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Top Ten Hits of the Leveson Inquiry Mental Floss
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Russia's Top Fighter Arrives in Refugee Camp. More Soon CNN
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Jewish Leaders Call for More Black Underwear Details as Justified Outrage Story Fades The Guardian
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Asian Weed Jesus Arrives 9gag
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Trump Tepidly Offers I'm Sorry If Apology for His Film Critic Mashable