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2,193 smashes / 3,872 upvotes / smashed from 5,219 real headlines
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Jeff Bezos Rocket Launch Company Wins Huge Contract With the New "Teen Mom" Moments The Telegraph
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Andy Gets a Punkish Revamp The Guardian
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Wages Are Growing Faster Than Wages Free Republic
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Older Men Having Gender Reassignment Ops Just So They Can "Build Oil Port" in Yemen Thefreethoughtproject
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Furious Saudi Arabia Opens High-Speed Train Found to Have My Own Face Cheezburger Instyle The Independent Zerohedge
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Functional Wooden Car Door 9gag
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Ground Beef Producer Issues Recall Due to Poor Diet. More Soon CNN
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Preacher Claims Civil War as "a Bit Irritating" Disclose
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President Trump Says Nike's Colin Kaepernick Ad Set to Address "Darkness" in Church Is Funny Elite Daily New York Times Time Western Journalism
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Criminals Note Jamie Oliver's Court Date good Day to Wear a Helmet 9gag
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EU Secretly Decides Not to Get Trump CNN ZergNet
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Drought Reveals Ancient Mayan City Council Housing: How Hackney Has Raised the Game We Needed Cosmos The Guardian Libertyunyielding Polygon
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Mate or Be Killed: Spider Must Put on Naughty Steppe TwistedSifter
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Pasta Recipes for the Screwdriver Industry. More Soon ZergNet
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Marlborough's Racing Tips for Kittens and Older Men Wanted for Dodging Singapore Military Service The Guardian The Telegraph
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Brexit: The Movie Is Coming, According to Science Facts Cheezburger Mashable
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Elizabeth Smart's Kidnapper Wanda Barzee Is Still a Big Mistake to Write an Obituary for a BFR Moon Trip CNN Engadget Fox News
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Some People's Orgasms Are Actually a Yeast Infection Tonic
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Windsor Man Admits "brandished Beheading Sword" but Didn't Think He Was Trained for Jihad 100percentfedup
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Hadrian Bans Fancy Dress at the Camp Nou 9gag
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Dad in Stable Condition After Being Burned, Beaten With Iron Chain as Police Brace for More Authenticity and Purpose? CNN Consciouslifenews New York Post The Telegraph
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Fear & Loading: Vista Outdoor Streamlines With Sale of Roundup
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25 Side Dishes to Make America GREAT AGAIN (By Putting the Government to Live the Life of a Sad Man? 9gag Elite Daily Fast Company Free Republic HotAir ZergNet
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She's HERE: 300,000 Without Power Failure Cheezburger Drudge Report
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Vatican Announces Historic Deal With Chewits The Telegraph
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The Evolving #MeToo Movement Return to 1950s-Style Policing as Drug Lord Given "a Good Clip Round the Ear" CNN NPR
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"The 100" Star Marie Avgeropoulos Charged With Pedrophilia. More Soon Free Republic TMZ
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Kavanaugh Refuses to Testify at Kavanaugh's Sexual Assault Allegations of a Grain of Rice Cheezburger HotAir ThinkProgress Time USA Today
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Jacob Rees-Mogg Warns Theresa May Was a "Success" Alternet The Independent
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Tory Tax U-Turn Means Millions of Dinners Unphotographed Mirror
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Labour to Adopt International Definition of "celebrity" With Its Fourth Season Pass Engadget N4G NPR
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Church of England Predicts Second Coming of the Year's Best Deals GameSpot Mashable
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We're All Gonna Die, Ep. 59: Attending a Jordan Peterson Rally by Keeping Them There Cheezburger New York Times USA Today
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Donald Trump Is Trying to Break Wonga's Legs With Baseball Bat Huffington Post New York Magazine
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As Pope Upgrades Holy Relic, Priests Release Grime Mix of My Flirting Capabilities Cheezburger
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Theresa May Unveils The Telegraph
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Sergio Ramos Says He Feels a Right Tit. More Soon The Independent
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Thousands Die in Kayaking Accident on His Heels New York Times The Telegraph Upworthy
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We Can Do the Same Things Over and Over Again 9gag Cheezburger
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Food Banks Announce Rise in Superbugs The Telegraph